Eating Back Your Calories (from MFP- explained)

for my own records, eating back your calories as explained on MFP by RAZIQUE:

The whole vodoo behind this, simply put :
You want to lose weight :
#1 - You eat less in order to create a deficit (usually way too big, anyway)
#2- You exercice, you make the deficit even bigger
#3 - Maintaining a too big deficit is dangerous - useless - slows down the weight loss
#4- eating em back maintain the main deficit

In fact, it depends on the way you setup your goals. If u have a daily intake without having calculated ur TDEE, in most cases, you should eat em back. If you have calculated it, so your deficit - you don’t need to eat em back - since the TDEE calculation uses your activity level as a base of calculation

Here is a tool (excel sheet) I created to manage my stuff :
http://interzone.kicks-ass.net/Calculating_calories.xls

ADDED BY HEIDI1990:

MFP already has a deficit. For example: 500 calories a day to lose 1lb a week.

If you exercise and burn 1000 calories you have increased that deficit to 1500. This might seem good at first: Bigger deficit = bigger weight loss, but it’s not always healthy and you may find at some point that your weight loss stalls until you eat more again.

Also, the smaller deficit you have, the less likely you are to have excess skin (if you have quite a bit to lose), you’re more likely to stick to it, as it is more manageable, and you will lose less muscle mass. (you naturally lose muscle as you lose weight)

Exercise is beneficial in many other ways than just burning calories. Find something you enjoy doing, and you can enjoy the benefits of greater cardiovascular health / better fitness, the ability to eat more yet still lose weight, and you may even find a new hobby in the process :)

Missykay1970:

This is how i see it…
Lets say you are saving money for a new car and you need $1000 
You make $1000/month. Ideally, you could save up for the car in only one moths time. But u still have to pay rent and buy food, so that “spends” some of your money, lets say $500. This means you will have to work extra (work out) to “earn” money toward your savings. Even if you only earn back part of the deficit, you are still going to eventually get to your savings goal.

Get Off Your Ass Already: Beating The Workout Blahs

Boob Sweat

Get Off Your Ass Already: Beating The Workout Blahs

by Susan Lacke

You know how it is: On New Year’s Eve, tipsy with optimism and champagne, you gaze wide-eyed at the world, declaring this will be your year. You’ll finally join the gym, lose those 10 pounds, run a marathon and make Orlando Bloom fall in love with you.

These goals always get off to a great start, but by the end of January, you’re on the couch with a dusty gym pass, a dozen cupcakes and a restraining order from Orlando’s people. (P.S. – Not cool, Orlando. I really thought we had something special, baby.)

Where did it all go wrong? You started out so motivated, and now you’re feeling uninspired. Don’t be discouraged. Get your fitness goals back on track, STAT! Here’s how:

Get Some New Threads
Just because you’re sweating doesn’t mean you have to look dumpy. If you look like crap, then you’re going to feel like crap, and feeling like crap usually ends on the couch, not the elliptical machine. Purchase new athletic clothing that you feel good in and (this is key, people) actually wear it to work out.

My pick-me-up is buying new tights. Not only do they keep my legs warm during winter runs, they make me feel like a superhero! I sometimes wear them to the grocery store post-run to lift cars off the elderly and nurse baby birds back to health.

Change it Up
People underestimate the power of a new sport, workout class or running trail. Do something different – even a new spin instructor keeps things fresh (especially if said spin instructor is hot).

Feeling really desperate for a change? Have a friend drive to the worst neighborhood in town and push you out of the car. Then try telling me you don’t feel like running today.

Grab a Partner
I’m a big fan of working out with friends. After all, misery loves company. Besides, you may cuss a lot while training; If a curse word is uttered in a swimming pool and no one’s around to hear it, did it really make a sound?

Read Inspiring Stories
The Internet is full of tear-jerker tales of cancer survivors who escaped the jungle after eight years of living in captivity while also raising sixteen children and creating a successful knitted-goods store on Etsy.com. Oh, yeah, and ran a marathon last weekend. With a glass eye and prosthetic leg.

Read these stories and remind yourself there are others out there who overcome worse challenges than yours every day. Or something like that. I don’t know, I’m not Oprah Winfrey. Just get off your butt and work out already.

Pin it
If you have a Pinterest account, you can spend hours sucked into the vortex of inspiration. See what others have “pinned” for inspiration, and know that you’re not alone in your struggle.

There’s a multitude of pin-worthy stuff on Pinterest, from photos of rock-hard abs (not me) to links to credible fitness experts (also not me). Whatever you do, stay away from any pins involving food. If you’re like me, one thing will lead to another, and the next thing you know, the Domino’s guy is thanking you for your order.

Stop Making Excuses
Yes, it’s cold outside. No one said you had to do your workout outdoors. Do a pilates video at home or go to the gym, and you can complain about other things, like being too warm and that weird smell on the yoga mats.

And don’t even try “I don’t have time” – you just wasted a bunch of time reading this post, Pinterest-ing, and shopping for superhero tights. Trust me…you have time.

Tell me – what do you do to get excited about working out when your motivation starts to dip?

December Ignition Switch

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

WARNING!

If you want safe vanilla politically correct non-confrontational, coddled and sugar-coated semi-motivational spark-celebrity type encouragement without any questionable or unpopular opinions, morals, perspective or thinking outside of the box… please look elsewhere, you are NOT going to find what you are looking for… so please, do you and me and big favor right now and just DO NOT READ THIS.

Thank you and good luck =)

Graphics featured in today’s blog were created by activeinspiration.tumblr.com , (unless otherwise noted) a site that I HIGHLYHIGHLY recommend you visit on days when you need a string of true and bright and bold words to get you out of your chair.

ooooooooooh GUESS WHAT!

It’s DECEMBER tomorrow! Oh 2011.. how do I hate thee.. let me NOT count the ways. Instead, let me have THE LAST WORD.

Im going to get myself all pumped up to have the last word in my fight against 2011. There must be a reason I havent quit yet and if I havent quit yet, then it just simply aint gonna happen.

Who cares if I maintained for the last 13 months? At least now I know that I CAN maintain.

Who cares if I kept gaining weight because of BS? I lost it right back, didnt i?

Who cares if I got injured? Im running again now, aren’t I?

Who cares if its no longer pretty summer weather to exercise in? I have long sleeved sht.

There are things that I want to see more of. Things like hip bones and muscle definition. And we all know there is only one way to make that happen.



but but but…



N.O. NO.



When I was losing weight, there were things happening to my body that were addicting! I was watching my shape change, I was watching my body develop as the fat melted away. I couldnt BELIEVE what I was seeing under there! Things I really really loved! LIKE OBLIQUES!

omg the day my obliques showed up i liked to lose my sht. You shoulda seen me, late for work cause I was busy taking side pics in my bedroom mirror.

Can you imagine what it will be like when I can see my six pack starting to show through? Im gonna call in sick probably!

Guy was recently asked what advice he gives girls who want an ass that guys really like. What kind, how do you make it? Is it genetic only?

He told her- if you want a great ass- forget about your ass and work on your hamstrings. No one’s ass looks good unless they have developed hamstrings. She bounced off in amazement with determination to do squats, etc.

But me, well, I question EVERYTHING. Why? Where did you get that idea?

1. It is a big muscle that you can see without being a contortionist.
2. There is usually less fat to lose before you can see that muscle develop- so progress is more apparent, more more quickly apparent than on your ass.
3. Seeing progress motivates you to keep going.
4. You can’t work your hamstrings without working your glutes.
5. Saying UGH I HAVE TO GO WORKOUT MY ASS is something we are all tired of hearing and saying. But Hamstrings… how fun are those?
6. Sitting a pretty ass on top of chicken legs or tree trunks is no bueno. Sitting it on top of a pair of stems, is beautiful.
7. Usually when you can focus on something you CAN change, the things you think you can’t change… naturally follow.

DINGDINGDING!!!



So Im going to focus things that I CAN CHANGE and hopefully things that I feel will never change, will react to what Im doing differently.

I feel like I cant get my tummy fat to go away no matter what, BUT Im getting petty good progress at slimming down my arms and legs. I may not have lost any weight in the last year, but i’ll be damned if my arms and legs aint half the size they were last year!

me last year @175:



me this year @ 175:



I spent A YEAR focusing on NON-POUNDAGE VICTORIES and what did I get out of it?
NON-POUNDAGE VICTORIES!

So that’s it. I spent a year doing it that way and defnititely made a difference. Now Im going to go back to letting the scale matter. I can only go so far while pretending the scale doesnt matter when I actually want to lose some more weight. I know my body very well and although I know it may seem to many that I should just STOP where Im at- I see how much fat I can grab on my thighs, I see the gut that strains against my leggings, I can tell how much of my back fat can be trimmed. I dont know if I need to lose 20 or 40 but I know I need to start losing again before these non-scale victories can start happening in different areas of my life.

iF I DONT CHANGE SOMETHING, I WILL BE FAT UNTIL I DIE.

I dont want to have to squeeeeeeeeeeeze into a booth and pretend I dont notice. i dont want to get so big that i break furniture because it simply cannot support my weight. i dont want to be the friend that everyone makes excuses for because my size is so damn ridiculous that I cant take the subway because I dont fit through the doors. I dont want to get up over 400 pounds and still tell people Im only 250. I dont want to backslide all my progress and turn back into the creature that I was, that got the looks and the stares because I allowed my body to turn into something that could have its own orbit.

I dont like pretending Im normal, I like actually being normal.
Denial isnt sexy, self-awareness is.
Lying to myself is bullsht, being honest is beautiful.
Treating my body like an trashcan is hateful and ugly, treating it like an amusement park is far more loving and beautiful.
Saying I dont care, doesnt mean I dont.
And eating because I met a minigoal is like turning around and walking away from the finish line.

I dont want to be a fat stupid American.

Pounds need to matter again. Need to lose a little of the extra, to make room for the better.



Ok!

So how do I lose pounds?

I mean, I know how to do ST for muscle and trimming. I know how to curb my eating, which I have recently revolutionized TWICE (thanks wheat, jerk). I know how to make sure i MOVE EVERY DAY and I know that regular cardio sessions are the only sure fire way to lose weight.

So. More cardio.

Well, the fact that I have now found a place where I can do 200 JUMPINGJACKS without going through the floor, means Im going to turn it into a place where I can do 10 sets of 100 jumping jacks without going through the floor.

I have hills and open sidewalks and streetlights blasting Christmas music? Get out there into it.

The sidewalks in my own neighborhood are too crowded to go in the evenings? Don’t want to walk over two avenues to jog down 7th Ave where its desolate, clean and quiet? You dumbass, 2 avenue blocks is part of your warmup. Skip the fifth ave crowds and run down 7th. Its prettier anyway. You can walk back down 5th to get home during your cool-down. Genius. *shakes head at self*

I quit my gym membership though! What do I do when it snows? Jumpin jacks bitch, we just discussed this.

The thing is not what to do or how to go about it or when we can get it done, the thing is doing it when its time to do it.



Its a choice.

It’s MY CHOICE.

IT’S MY CHOICE TO CHANGE, TO DO, TO GO, TO MAKE, TO CREATE, TO LIVE.

ITS ALL ABOUT CHOICES. ALL OF IT.

ALSO…



EVERY TIME I FIND MYSELF CONSIDERING SKIPPING A WORKOUT BECAUSE OF SOME LAME REASON OR ANOTHER (BUT BASICALLY BECAUSE I DONT FEEL LIKE TAKING THE VERY FIRST STEP)…. I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT IM MAKING A CHOICE.



Do I want to ever see my hipbones or am I happy overflowing my jeans?
Do I ever wanna fit those size 7 jeans on my wall or am I ok with elastic waist bands?
Do I want to be able to curl up with my Sharkslayer and just lose myself in the moment or am I ok with thinking about how much my stomach folds over itself and into my lap when Im sitting on the couch? Can I just stand forever?
Do I want to jump on top during sex and have thestamina of a 17 year old boy?
Yes yes I do.

Wait, is she really making this compleely about lookingbetter naked because she’s falling for a guy?
28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvhovg04N
N1qgw1f2o1_250.gif
Whatever gets you through your workouts, my friends.

Im chasing something.

Im chasing an attainable something.

Im chasing something that I want to catch.

How am I suppoed to catch something from the observation deck?

Im not.

IM SUPPOSED TO CATCH IT BY GOING OUT THERE AND RUNNING AFTER IT! HULLO!



IM SPOSED TO CATCH IT BY USING MY BRAIN AND SNEAKING UP ON IT IN THE WILD!



IM SPOSED TO CATCH IT BY GETTING UP EARLY AND SUBMERSING MYSELF IN ITS ENVIRONMENT! (NOT MY OWN)



“IT” IS THE REAL ME.

HOW AM I GOING TO FIND THIS CRAZY WOMAN AND HUNT HER DOWN AND MAKE HER ME?



I have to catch her.

I have to find her in places I dont go very often, doing things I don’t do as often as I should, because Im not going to find her in front of me waiting to exist, and Im not going to find her in my bed sleeping late.

She is on the move, an elusive target, so I must be an agile hunter.

Looks like December is oing to be hunting season and that bitch is MINE.




In DECEMBER:

emoticon Its about POUNDS again.
emoticon Its about CARDIO again.
emoticon Its about CONSISTENCY again.
emoticon Its about forcing myself to take the first step and START my workout.
emoticon Its about defying WEATHER.
emoticon Its about creating STEAM.
emoticon Its about hunting down my PREY.
emoticon Its about HAMSTRINGS!
emoticon Its about the 160s and SEX. Yeah you heard me.

The non-scale victories will come along while Im concentrating on the scale again. I don’t feel like focusing on pounds is bad since spent 13 months pretending that only other things mattered. Well, everyone is different and Im ready for some pounds to drop again.



Ive been aiming toward my utimate goal weight for a LONG TIME, its time I DO finish what I started. I wanna do it this winter!

I promised myself years ago that I would lose 120 pounds. I HAVE to KEEP that PROMISE!
But i also promise that if I start getting closer to 140 and Im looking sick or underweight, I will quit and work on sculpting instead of pounds.

emoticon Its about follow through
emoticon Its bout loving myself
emoticon Its about proving it.
emoticon Its about faith and electricity.
emoticon Its about shiny and alive.
emoticon Its about strength and bragging rights.
emoticon Its about not growing stagnant and still.
emoticon THIS IS EVOLUTION IN REAL TIME.



Alsothis^

Now if you’ll excuse me…

 

Faith

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Maybe Im cursed to be unable to give up.

Maybe Ive learned my lesson in patience and now its time to face my lesson in faith.*

emoticon “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” - Dr Martin Luther King Jr

emoticon “Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.” - Henry Ward Beecher

emoticon “The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.” - Benjamin Franklin

I’ve been putting all my eggs in the science basket. In logic and reason and ration and math. If I do X, Y # of times, then Z will happen on time. If I do everything right, I will have earned success, which will then be handed to me upon arrival. If I run three times a week for a month, then I will lose 4 pounds that month.

Unfortunately, as we all know and usually have to relearn over and over, it doesnt work like that.

It’s more like, if you do X, then Z is probable, eventually, maybe, if your’re lucky and your body chemistry allows it.

So I learned about patience, Im giving up on guaranteed reasoning and it’s time to face that you gotta have faith…

ugh… I hate faith. Its NEVER been my strong suit. Except when I was faking it. But reason is failing me, and hard evidence is the opposite of faith, so … 2 + 2 

emoticon “Faith is building on what you know is here, so you can reach what you know is there.” - Cullen Hightower

What do I ~know~ is here?

I KNOW that eating healthy and exercise eventually pay off.
I KNOW that everyone’s body is different and changes at different speeds.
I KNOW that changing things up yields results unless the change becomes addictive or gets out of hand.
I KNOW that quitting won’t work, unless you just quit for a week or so and then UNquit.
I KNOW that no one can get me there except myself.
I KNOW that I have an unending flow of motivation that just won’t run dry.
I KNOW that life goes on, whether I want a break or not.
I KNOW that challenging myself keeps me from growing stagnant.
I KNOW that I havent really challenged myself in a long time.
I KNOW that I only have a limited amount of time to exercise outdoors before the hell froze over season hits me like a brick wall.

emoticon “We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success.” Henry David Thoreau

I’ve been hyper-self-aware for years, calculating everything and trying to make a meticulous master plan, even scheduling when I would be spontaneous and wing it. I put in effort, I received results. I knew it would happen like I knew the sun would come up tomorrow. I have to start using patience and knowledge together to create faith that results will still come if I keep doing these stupid efforts.

Its so boring and blase and not a good time. Its not exciting and thrilling and exhilarating to be a determined rock.

I’d rather be a firework than a sturdy boulder.

I’d rather be an illumiated epiphany than persistent faith.

emoticon “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” Harriet Beecher Stowe

That sounds scarily similar to ‘you only find a man when you aren’t looking for one’ which is common sense and old news, so Im ignoring this one, but some of you may like it.

emoticon “Faith is the “eternal elixir” which gives life, power and action to the impulse of thought! Faith is the starting point of all accumulation of riches! Faith is the basis of all “miracles” and all mysteries which cannot be analyzed by the rules of science! Faith is the only known antidote for failure!” - Napoleon Hill

Science is certainly not on my side right now.

emoticon “Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.” Oprah Winfrey

Who am I?

Im the girl that’s attracted to shiny, flashy things more than stability.
Im the girl that picks glamour over dependability (except in friends).
Im the girl that loves instant gratification (especially in guys)
Im the girl that is more motivated by the afterglow than the anticipation.
Im the girl that finds dynami more appealing than determined.
Im the girl that is scared of getting old, growing stagnant or getting left behind.
Im the girl that would rather die trying, than let down anyone fool enough to believe in her.
Im the girl that cares more about what people judge of her, then what she judges of herself.
Im the girl that hasnt trusted her own judgment in almost a decade.
Im the girl that is motivated by people being proud to know her and be seen with her, rather than ashamed.
Im the girl that believes that your reputation is all you’ve got left, sometimes.
Im the girl that always competes with herself, but only knows how to measure herself against others.
Im the girl that cant love herself despite her imperfections because her parents couldnt even do that.
Im the girl that knows that THAT problem wont be fixed with a bit of weight loss.
Im the girl that believes that she is worthless unless she is progressing at something.
Im the girl that believes that she is nothing unless she is providing something.
Im the girl that picks a flash in the pan over lasting warmth any day.
Im the girl that has no concept of the future other than, someday that future will be a today, therefore it never exists until it gets here… and ceases to exist.

emoticon “As the essence of courage is to stake one’s life on a possibility, so the essence of faith is to believe that the possibility exists.” - WIlliam Salter

Would I bet my life on the possibility that will break out of these 170s eventually?

… yeah. I saw the 160s for a minute last year. I FEEL utterly bleak about it NOW, but part of me does know that it will happen eventually. Its just drowned out by the bitter unhappy grumpy fed up part of me at the moment. The part that is cultivating Doubt in the backyard like its the newest trendiest fall crop.

emoticon “Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.” - Kahlil Gibran

MAYBE MY PAIN IS LONELY CAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND, RESULTS, LEFT HIM! Ok maybe not. My pain is lonely because Im isolating it from everything that makes it go away.

What makes pain go away?

tenderness.
care.
love.
comfort.
sympathy.
new toys. (what, you didnt get a dolly when your mom got your ears pierced?)
company.
kisses. (wait)
medical attention. (probably)
bandaids.

How can I combine those things with who I know I am, in order to get myself moving forward again?

What is tender and loving and trendy and dynamic and shiny and ‘in the moment’ and productive and instantly gratifying and comforting and sexy and flashy and new and friendly and not boring?

*scratches chin*

NYC.

What’s gonna be the bandaid for all this pain of failing in public every day?

Faith?



*not referring to faith in a religious sense

Cursed

Monday, October 24, 2011



from scratch, mushroom, zuchini, red/green pepper & fat free whipped cream cheese egg crepe with an orange

approx 250 calories, 24 carbs



from scratch, chicken bacon cacciatore with fresh basil, mushrooms, plum tomatoes, garlic, white/yellow/purple onions, celery and fettuccini (before you go al BACON BAD on my ass, it was 1/4 of a strip that I chopped up into teeny tiny pieces for flavoring the tomato mixture ok?)

approx 375 calories, 58 carbs



granny smith apple, whole wheat waffles with fat free whippd cream cheese and 2 eggs, fried in a nonstick pan with no oil

approx 430 calories, 50 carbs



from scratch, chicken lo mein with mushrooms, asparagus, egg and cauliflower

approx 275 calories, 37 carbs



carrot, tomato, corn and cabbage israeli salad.



apple, tomato, grilled chicken, cucumber, onion salad with olive oil and pepper



my mid-day work snack



egg white, black forest ham, bell pepper, olive, onion wrap



avocado and tomato wraps



homemade bagels and strawberries



turkey sausage onion pepper egg wraps



sausage, basil, tomato tortellini



tomato, cilantro and cucumber israeli salad



more snacks



chicken stir fry, made with everything fresh from the farmer’s market



my “fattening breakfast” Veggie cream cheese on an everything bagel with OJ

I could go on and on and on forever with these food pictures, cause I AM conscientous of how i EAT.
This is pretty much how I eat all the time. I cook it, I plate it, I think how beauiful it is, then I inhale it. If Im not cooking it myself, this IS the fast food we have around here. Halal food, Indonesian food, Vegan street vendors, lamb and rice, cold cut wraps, kosher meals… everything here that I want… is healthy.

Places like Taco Bell, Popeyes, Checkers, Wendy’s are all at least an hour away from me, so I have long forgotten them.

I exercise my ass off.

I dont even own a car.

I dont even buy monthly subway cards. I’m a 24/7 pedestrian.

I havent been able to run lately, between an effed up ankle from a tumble down the stairs right before vacation, to the fact that its still pitch black outside at 6:30 which is the latest I can leave for a run and still have time to take a ho-bath before dashing off for the carpool, and the Brooklyn Groper, who has been terrorizing women in my itty bitty neighborhood, 13 sexual assaults since March- everything fom boob grabbing to full on violent rape.

So I sat and I went on strike and kept my foot elevated and ate whatever I wanted, which just happened to be healthy, I walked a bit. Whatever. I was sure I gained 13 pounds over vacation. Especially since my boobs are giNORMOUS right now because my period should be here any second. I figured I gained about 6 pounds for period/boob weight and 13 pounds for eating and not moving.

Know how many pounds I gained? From doing ZERO exercise? From sitting on the couch all day, eating?

-3 pounds.

i LOST 3 pounds.

I bust my ass every week.
I eat clean as if my sexuality depended on it.
My body just isnt going to change.

so to that inner athlete inside of me, that skinny bitch that cant be satisfied… I have one little hand gesture to you and your refusal to budge the number on the scale.

My body wants to be this weight, I cant even gain the weight back if I try, Im cursed to be in the 170s for the rest of my fecking life.

screw this.

I dont want to weigh 170.
I want to weigh like 145/150.
I dont want to be a size 9/10.
I want to be a size somewhere between 6 and 8.
I dont want to be able to cradl my boobs in my arms like a baby.
I don’t want a 28 inch waist.
I dont want a gut so huge that when I sit down, it pushes up on my boobs.
I dont want rolls of fat.
I dont want the muscles on my thighs to sway back anf forth on my bones when I walk.
I dont want to be a giant anymore.
I cant take it.
Its killing me. It hurts, Im tired.
I hate it.
I read the spark 4 times. I do EVERYTHING right.
I want to be SKINNY.
I want to be sooooooooooo skinny.
I want to be skinny enough to see my muscles underneath my skin.
I eat like a movie star.
Im as active as I can possibly be.
I eat like 10-15 freggies a DAY.
I drink at LEAST a gallon of water.
I stretch like Im gumby.
I challenge myself.
FOR A FULL YEAR NOTHING HAS CHANGED.
FFS WTF ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

More powerful than the will to win…

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

…is the courage to begin.You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. - Barbara Sher

When there is a start to be made, don’t step over! Start where you are. -Edgar Cayce

Yesterday I had some pretty heavy brekthroughs and I didn’t want all that emotional BS to be for no stinkin reason, so I went into Spark and changed my ticker. I didnt move the ticker up or down or anything, I just ERASED all my previous success.

I changed my starting weight from 260 to 173. All those pounds I’d already lost were weihing me down, not spurring me on forward. Now instead of seeing all those huge numbers gapped apart on my ticker, with each little ound I lose barely moving the little white dove, I have only a few pounds to lose before hitting each marker!!

After I saved it, I made that sound like you make after your first sip of 7up.

Then I put it out of my mind and went to make myself a beautiful dinner, which I also did the night before. And I started thinking to myself, you know what, Self? Tracking has gotten a bit boring once you have all the calories fo everything memorized and you can pretty much guess within a hundred cals what your intake for the day is, and you are so addicted to taking pics and always have your phone with you, you should take a picture of (at least) your dinner, every day, for the rest of October.

If you dont eat, no picture.
If its not healthy, too bad, snap snap.
If its healthy but ugly, who cares, snap snap.
If its gorgeous and decadent, snap snap.
If its colorful and healthy, snap snap upload to fb.

So I made baby pasta shells and threw in broccoli and mushrooms and garlic and then sprinkled fresh sun-dried tomatoes on top with some skim parmesan. Voila!



I sat on the front stoop with Tom and talked to him about some of the breakthoughs that I have made lately and he thinks that my course of action seems level headed and healthy, so I feel better. I just kept walking around the house taking care of business last night with the FACT in the back of my head that I was going to be starting from scratch tomorrow.

No 90 lb loss hanging over my head like OH YEAH BITCH? TOP THIS! MAKE IT100! OR ARE YOU SCARED? HUH HUH? I BET YOU CANT! 3 DIGITS IS A HUGE NUMBER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nope, I was on day 1 as of 10/5. No pasxt successes or failures barrelling me over.
No 100 lb loss goal taunting me.
No “WHY IS THIS TAKING 4 YEARS” pressure.

Brand new day.

SO this morning I got up at 6:30 and it was still dark outside but I got dressed, ponytailed it and hit the pavement to carve out a run route that I can start and finish in 30 minutes in case Im ever running late. Just 30 mins, no big giant 8 mile run route or anything, just What can I guarantee to be able to accompish in 30 minutes? That includes Mt Skinnichick and her badass hill and badasseder view, if possible!





Now, part of PMP this week is to surprise yourself. So I knew I had to eventually, but the trick to surprising myself is not planning ahead of time, just coming upon an opportunity and seizing it. So I get to the base of Mt. Skinnichick.

1/3 mile / 150 ft incline….

I ran straight up! I RAN STRAIGHT UP!!! Without stopping! Can you just imagine the happy dancing I was doing in my head? Not with my body, my body was bent over trying to get air. Trying to not vomit on every living thing. Trying t not DIE.

Then Im coming back around the park and they have erected a fence!
A FENCE??
WHY???

So I hop up on the grass from the sidewalk to walk around it and they start yelling at me that I cant go around it, I have to go all the way back. And I look ahead and see the drop off between the grass Im standing on and the sidewalk below and Im guessing its about 5 and a half feet, cause when Im walking on the sidewalk, just the top of my head and ponytail are higher than the stone dividing wall.



So I look at the fence guy.
Look down at the sidewalk.
Look back at he screaming fence guys.
Look down at the sidewalk.
Look back at the entire construction crew yelling for me to just turn around and go back.
Look down at the sidewalk.

FLYING LEAP!!!!

Land on feet and take off running back toward home. Feeling like a what? A Superhero.



And on the way home, I smell this amazing sausage egg and cheese hero atrocity that hd my mouth watering and my emergency three bucks burning a hole in my tights… BUT I was NOT going to ruin my new Day 1 with that, so I hit up subway and got a flatbread with tons of veggies and eggs and such and had a banana and a new water.



So tonight, ST and tomorrow morning, cardio again.

Im doin it!