I’m terrified to run a marathon, like an organized routed one with other people- because Im so sure that I will be really good at it, and nail it, and get to the end like - oh wow- that was no big deal- and people will hate me and think im an arrogant bitch
so, instead, im going to stress myself out for the next ten months and make the NYC marathon the most stressful painful thing Ive ever endured…
just so people wont hate me for doing it.
10 REASONS RUNNING DOESN’T SUCK AS MUCH AS YOU THINK
10 Reasons Running Doesn’t Suck As Much As You Think
by Susan Lacke
The word “running” used to conjure up painful and awkward memories of gym class. My middle-school gym teacher, Mrs. Morey, would stand her roly-poly body at the top of the hill behind our school, barking through a megaphone between bites of beef jerky at us red-faced kids as we ran circles around the track. According to her, running was supposed to build character, or whatever it is they teach gym teachers to say in gym teacher school.
Needless to say, most of the gasping kids on the track were thinking the same thing: Character? <bleep> you. Choke on your jerky, fatty.
Your first experience with running was probably in gym class. And it’s quite possible it left the same rancid taste in your mouth, with little desire to ever run again. But no more! I hit the reset button on my attitude towards running, and for the last two years, have gone from hating running to loving it (most of the time). Running really doesn’t suck as much as you think. Here’s why:
- Most races and fun runs are full of hot bodies in very little clothing. Let me repeat that: HOT PEOPLE. WEARING PRACTICALLY NOTHING. Wear sunglasses, and ogle with reckless abandon.
- You can lose weight by drinking nothing but hot water with lemon. Or you can run for an hour, treat yourself to a cookie and still fit into your skinny jeans. One of these options makes you bitchy; the other makes you rad.
- Take your iPod with you, and your runs suddenly become a safe place to indulge your love of boy-band music. With enough practice, you can even blend in a couple dance moves from ‘Bye Bye Bye’. Don’t lie: You’ve still got that routine memorized.
- When your boss, your melodramatic friend and your nagging to-do list won’t leave you alone, calmly put on your running shoes and head out the door. They won’t follow you. It’s a safer alternative to storming out with both middle fingers in the air (though you can -and should- still do this in your head, just for spectacular effect).
- You’ll discover lululemon pants are good for more than just buying tampons and Cheez-its at Target (I know, ladies. My world was rocked with that discovery, too.).
- Running is the last place you have to “be a lady.” Sweat, snot and sneaking behind a bush to pee is not only liberating it’s fun, in that giggly-childish-naughty kind of way.
- Getting a run in before happy hour means you get tipsy on half a glass of wine instead of your usual two. That’s not being a lush, that’s just sound economic planning.
- Studies have shown that runners have better sex. Sex counts as a cross-training workout, which in turn makes you a better runner, which – hello! – leads to even better sex. Really, the whole thing is full of win-wins.
- Girls are lucky; there’s an entire industry committed to making us look awesome while getting our sweat on. Workout clothes come in all sorts of cool colors and designs. Jockstraps, on the other hand, will always be ugly with questionable stains.
- Non-runners will sit on the couch and call you crazy. Those folks, sadly, will never learn what their bodies are capable of. You, on the other hand, will die knowing you completely, totally, unabashedly used up the body that was loaned to you. That’s not crazy. That’s freakin’ awesome.
Yoovie’s PLATEAU Theory - reposted for SELF
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Major sections of your personality hinge on your perception of your physical appearance.
Which is controlled by your brain.
Which doesn’t change as fast as your body.
You following me still?
As you change the shape of your body, your perception of yourself does not necessarily change at the same rate. Where you may have gone from an 8 to a 6 or from a 22W to an 18… your perception of your body might not have changed at all.
This is very hindering!
“I’ve lost 50 pounds but can’t really seeee the difference!”
“I had to buy an entirely new wardrobe but I dont feel smaller.”
“I have no idea what the scale is talking about, cause I still see the fat.”
“THIS IS BULLSH*T!”
You’d think that losing the poundage would be an instant and immediate change in our reflection. But that reflection has to go through our brain filters first.
Our brain filters… some good some bad. Like?
1. Comparing to the person next to you or someone else in general. That’s the first and quickest way to alter your perception away from your simple sense of sight.
2. Comparing yourself to what you USED to see. This can be good or bad. If you are used to seeing your reflection span the entire width of the mirror and now there are several inches of bathroom wallpaper visible behind you, AWESOME. But you can see how comparing to your old self would also affect what you actually see in front of you, negatively.
3. Inner critics. Moms, aunts, best friends, significant others… all those unwanted, unbidden opinions floating around in your head… alter what your brain is processing.
4. Self-inflicted expectations. These can also be good or bad. Expectations to eat right and be active can have a postive reinforcement in your brain filters. Expectations to lose 9 jean sizes between New Year’s and the beach… ehhhh notsomuch helpful.
5. This is the tough one. This is the Reflection that you have gotten used to seeing. The YOU that you ARE. The grownup, this is me, reflection. When we are very used to seeing one person in the mirror, and she starts looking very different…. it can be very disconcerting.
NOW hold that thought….
When you are doing cardio or ST.. and you need a rest to catch your breath and get your bearings… do you take it?
When I run, I run a block or three and then walk a block, run a block or three and then walk a block. It dawned on me yesterday that that is EXACTLY how my weight loss progress goes. But if I walk too long instead of hopping back into a run at the next block… lol guess what, no loss.
Running = losing steadily
Walking = maintaining
Stopping = gaining or giving up.
Now… I walk until I can give my poor ankles a break, catch my breath and adjust my tits. Change the song on my iPod, take a picture, drink some water, ogle a hottie running past. Tie my shoes, wipe the sweat off my face, get it out of my eyes and decide which direction I will go next.
We need these little moments of walking. Think about it.
Give my ankles a break = time off for injuries
Catch my breath = take care of other things going on that have higher priority
Adjust my tits = rearrange your schedule
Change the song on my iPod = find a new way to invigorate yourself
Take a picture = stop to smell the roses along the way OR take a progress picture, take stock in how far you’ve come
Drink some water = check in on how you are caring for yourself
Ogle a hottie running past = time out for silly ish
Tie my shoes = make sure you aren’t doing anything the unsafe way
Wipe the sweat off my face = slough off the bad habits you’re steadily dropping
Get it out of my eyes = (DING DING DING - PAY ATTENTION) GIVE YOUR BRAIN’S PERCEPTION OF YOU TIME TO CATCH UP TO WHAT YOU REALLY LOOK LIKE AND FEEL LIKE NOW. YOUR ABILITIES AND DIMINISHED LIMITATIONS. There’s a new ‘you’ to get used to in the mirror.
Decide which direction I will go next = Decide which path to take. Do I keep maintaining this walk for a little while until I have done all those things? Do I stop? Do I quit? Can I start running again now? Left? Right? Up the hill?
There are so many things right there that we can get hung up on when we reach a plateau. Sometimes we’ve handled everything except the part where we are giving our brains and bodies enough time to SYNC UP AGAIN. It’s frustrating, I know.
Sometimes, the more weight you’ve lost… the longer that plateau might last, even if you never stop exercising regularly, never give up eating right, never slow to a walk… but it’s time that you NEED so your perception isnt completely out of whack.
I KNOW. BELIEEEEEEEEEEEVE ME, I KNOW. I spent last summer in agony, trying to live in a body that was 90 pounds smaller than the me I’d been used to for a decade. 90 pounds. That’s like… Justin Beiber.
I looked a million times better. My skin was radiant from all the water, my hair was badass as usual, but I was taking turns too widely, sucking in my stomach to edge around a chair when I had more than enough room to walk straight past it. Wearing clothing 3 sizes too big. Avoiding any kind of attention at all. Getting angry when someone would tell me I was beautiful and fit because obviously they were mocking me. I was hiding behind people (and door frames/lazy-boys/kitchen islands) still, I was being so harsh on myself. I FLAT OUT REFUSED to date anyone who was physically fit. O_o (wacked out yo)
My stubborn ass needed a plateau so I could get used to my new body.
Here’s the trick though… you can’t walk forever. One day, you will wake up…. and JUST like the day you woke up and decided (for real) to START this mission to get a better body (for real) and you will realise you can move on from your plateau. You will start running again, and your mind and body will be as one and THEN…
Then the magic happens.
How else would you describe the fact that your body won’t lose any weight that your brain doesnt want it to, despite all physical efforts?
If you’ve hit a plateau, see if you need to adjust your tits, ogle a hottie, tie your shoes, get the sweat out of your eyes or if you are just waiting to pick a direction to go next.
And when you figure it out… grab your brain and start running again.
PS. just dont use this as a friggin excuse or weightloss karma will bite you HARD, babydoll.
December Ignition Switch
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
If you want safe vanilla politically correct non-confrontational, coddled and sugar-coated semi-motivational spark-celebrity type encouragement without any questionable or unpopular opinions, morals, perspective or thinking outside of the box… please look elsewhere, you are NOT going to find what you are looking for… so please, do you and me and big favor right now and just DO NOT READ THIS.
Thank you and good luck =)
Graphics featured in today’s blog were created by activeinspiration.tumblr.com , (unless otherwise noted) a site that I HIGHLYHIGHLY recommend you visit on days when you need a string of true and bright and bold words to get you out of your chair.
ooooooooooh GUESS WHAT!
It’s DECEMBER tomorrow! Oh 2011.. how do I hate thee.. let me NOT count the ways. Instead, let me have THE LAST WORD.
Im going to get myself all pumped up to have the last word in my fight against 2011. There must be a reason I havent quit yet and if I havent quit yet, then it just simply aint gonna happen.
Who cares if I maintained for the last 13 months? At least now I know that I CAN maintain.
Who cares if I kept gaining weight because of BS? I lost it right back, didnt i?
Who cares if I got injured? Im running again now, aren’t I?
Who cares if its no longer pretty summer weather to exercise in? I have long sleeved sht.
There are things that I want to see more of. Things like hip bones and muscle definition. And we all know there is only one way to make that happen.
but but but…
When I was losing weight, there were things happening to my body that were addicting! I was watching my shape change, I was watching my body develop as the fat melted away. I couldnt BELIEVE what I was seeing under there! Things I really really loved! LIKE OBLIQUES!
omg the day my obliques showed up i liked to lose my sht. You shoulda seen me, late for work cause I was busy taking side pics in my bedroom mirror.
Can you imagine what it will be like when I can see my six pack starting to show through? Im gonna call in sick probably!
Guy was recently asked what advice he gives girls who want an ass that guys really like. What kind, how do you make it? Is it genetic only?
He told her- if you want a great ass- forget about your ass and work on your hamstrings. No one’s ass looks good unless they have developed hamstrings. She bounced off in amazement with determination to do squats, etc.
But me, well, I question EVERYTHING. Why? Where did you get that idea?
1. It is a big muscle that you can see without being a contortionist.
2. There is usually less fat to lose before you can see that muscle develop- so progress is more apparent, more more quickly apparent than on your ass.
3. Seeing progress motivates you to keep going.
4. You can’t work your hamstrings without working your glutes.
5. Saying UGH I HAVE TO GO WORKOUT MY ASS is something we are all tired of hearing and saying. But Hamstrings… how fun are those?
6. Sitting a pretty ass on top of chicken legs or tree trunks is no bueno. Sitting it on top of a pair of stems, is beautiful.
7. Usually when you can focus on something you CAN change, the things you think you can’t change… naturally follow.
So Im going to focus things that I CAN CHANGE and hopefully things that I feel will never change, will react to what Im doing differently.
I feel like I cant get my tummy fat to go away no matter what, BUT Im getting petty good progress at slimming down my arms and legs. I may not have lost any weight in the last year, but i’ll be damned if my arms and legs aint half the size they were last year!
me last year @175:
me this year @ 175:
I spent A YEAR focusing on NON-POUNDAGE VICTORIES and what did I get out of it?
So that’s it. I spent a year doing it that way and defnititely made a difference. Now Im going to go back to letting the scale matter. I can only go so far while pretending the scale doesnt matter when I actually want to lose some more weight. I know my body very well and although I know it may seem to many that I should just STOP where Im at- I see how much fat I can grab on my thighs, I see the gut that strains against my leggings, I can tell how much of my back fat can be trimmed. I dont know if I need to lose 20 or 40 but I know I need to start losing again before these non-scale victories can start happening in different areas of my life.
iF I DONT CHANGE SOMETHING, I WILL BE FAT UNTIL I DIE.
I dont want to have to squeeeeeeeeeeeze into a booth and pretend I dont notice. i dont want to get so big that i break furniture because it simply cannot support my weight. i dont want to be the friend that everyone makes excuses for because my size is so damn ridiculous that I cant take the subway because I dont fit through the doors. I dont want to get up over 400 pounds and still tell people Im only 250. I dont want to backslide all my progress and turn back into the creature that I was, that got the looks and the stares because I allowed my body to turn into something that could have its own orbit.
I dont like pretending Im normal, I like actually being normal.
Denial isnt sexy, self-awareness is.
Lying to myself is bullsht, being honest is beautiful.
Treating my body like an trashcan is hateful and ugly, treating it like an amusement park is far more loving and beautiful.
Saying I dont care, doesnt mean I dont.
And eating because I met a minigoal is like turning around and walking away from the finish line.
I dont want to be a fat stupid American.
Pounds need to matter again. Need to lose a little of the extra, to make room for the better.
So how do I lose pounds?
I mean, I know how to do ST for muscle and trimming. I know how to curb my eating, which I have recently revolutionized TWICE (thanks wheat, jerk). I know how to make sure i MOVE EVERY DAY and I know that regular cardio sessions are the only sure fire way to lose weight.
So. More cardio.
Well, the fact that I have now found a place where I can do 200 JUMPINGJACKS without going through the floor, means Im going to turn it into a place where I can do 10 sets of 100 jumping jacks without going through the floor.
I have hills and open sidewalks and streetlights blasting Christmas music? Get out there into it.
The sidewalks in my own neighborhood are too crowded to go in the evenings? Don’t want to walk over two avenues to jog down 7th Ave where its desolate, clean and quiet? You dumbass, 2 avenue blocks is part of your warmup. Skip the fifth ave crowds and run down 7th. Its prettier anyway. You can walk back down 5th to get home during your cool-down. Genius. *shakes head at self*
I quit my gym membership though! What do I do when it snows? Jumpin jacks bitch, we just discussed this.
The thing is not what to do or how to go about it or when we can get it done, the thing is doing it when its time to do it.
Its a choice.
It’s MY CHOICE.
IT’S MY CHOICE TO CHANGE, TO DO, TO GO, TO MAKE, TO CREATE, TO LIVE.
ITS ALL ABOUT CHOICES. ALL OF IT.
EVERY TIME I FIND MYSELF CONSIDERING SKIPPING A WORKOUT BECAUSE OF SOME LAME REASON OR ANOTHER (BUT BASICALLY BECAUSE I DONT FEEL LIKE TAKING THE VERY FIRST STEP)…. I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT IM MAKING A CHOICE.
Do I want to ever see my hipbones or am I happy overflowing my jeans?
Do I ever wanna fit those size 7 jeans on my wall or am I ok with elastic waist bands?
Do I want to be able to curl up with my Sharkslayer and just lose myself in the moment or am I ok with thinking about how much my stomach folds over itself and into my lap when Im sitting on the couch? Can I just stand forever?
Do I want to jump on top during sex and have thestamina of a 17 year old boy?
Yes yes I do.
Wait, is she really making this compleely about lookingbetter naked because she’s falling for a guy?
Whatever gets you through your workouts, my friends.
Im chasing something.
Im chasing an attainable something.
Im chasing something that I want to catch.
How am I suppoed to catch something from the observation deck?
IM SUPPOSED TO CATCH IT BY GOING OUT THERE AND RUNNING AFTER IT! HULLO!
IM SPOSED TO CATCH IT BY USING MY BRAIN AND SNEAKING UP ON IT IN THE WILD!
IM SPOSED TO CATCH IT BY GETTING UP EARLY AND SUBMERSING MYSELF IN ITS ENVIRONMENT! (NOT MY OWN)
“IT” IS THE REAL ME.
HOW AM I GOING TO FIND THIS CRAZY WOMAN AND HUNT HER DOWN AND MAKE HER ME?
I have to catch her.
I have to find her in places I dont go very often, doing things I don’t do as often as I should, because Im not going to find her in front of me waiting to exist, and Im not going to find her in my bed sleeping late.
She is on the move, an elusive target, so I must be an agile hunter.
Looks like December is oing to be hunting season and that bitch is MINE.
Its about POUNDS again.
Its about CARDIO again.
Its about CONSISTENCY again.
Its about forcing myself to take the first step and START my workout.
Its about defying WEATHER.
Its about creating STEAM.
Its about hunting down my PREY.
Its about HAMSTRINGS!
Its about the 160s and SEX. Yeah you heard me.
The non-scale victories will come along while Im concentrating on the scale again. I don’t feel like focusing on pounds is bad since spent 13 months pretending that only other things mattered. Well, everyone is different and Im ready for some pounds to drop again.
Ive been aiming toward my utimate goal weight for a LONG TIME, its time I DO finish what I started. I wanna do it this winter!
I promised myself years ago that I would lose 120 pounds. I HAVE to KEEP that PROMISE!
But i also promise that if I start getting closer to 140 and Im looking sick or underweight, I will quit and work on sculpting instead of pounds.
Its about follow through
Its bout loving myself
Its about proving it.
Its about faith and electricity.
Its about shiny and alive.
Its about strength and bragging rights.
Its about not growing stagnant and still.
THIS IS EVOLUTION IN REAL TIME.
Now if you’ll excuse me…
Saturday, November 26, 2011
The only reason I can find for this BS is that thats about a week after I switched to whole grains and wheat cardboard.
So you know what?
F$%# you WHOLE GRAINS.
At least when I ate white bread and bagels I only had 5 servings a week (maybe).
I know I love myself today because:
When I saw another 5 pounds on the scale this morning, I decided to go for a short run instead of doing an ST session.
Instead of doing two and a half miles, I did 8.70 miles.
Instead of going to Park Slope or staying in my neighborhood, I treated myself to the Verrazano for the first time in forever.
on my period.