Life is a VERB

December Ignition Switch

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

WARNING!

If you want safe vanilla politically correct non-confrontational, coddled and sugar-coated semi-motivational spark-celebrity type encouragement without any questionable or unpopular opinions, morals, perspective or thinking outside of the box… please look elsewhere, you are NOT going to find what you are looking for… so please, do you and me and big favor right now and just DO NOT READ THIS.

Thank you and good luck =)

Graphics featured in today’s blog were created by activeinspiration.tumblr.com , (unless otherwise noted) a site that I HIGHLYHIGHLY recommend you visit on days when you need a string of true and bright and bold words to get you out of your chair.

ooooooooooh GUESS WHAT!

It’s DECEMBER tomorrow! Oh 2011.. how do I hate thee.. let me NOT count the ways. Instead, let me have THE LAST WORD.

Im going to get myself all pumped up to have the last word in my fight against 2011. There must be a reason I havent quit yet and if I havent quit yet, then it just simply aint gonna happen.

Who cares if I maintained for the last 13 months? At least now I know that I CAN maintain.

Who cares if I kept gaining weight because of BS? I lost it right back, didnt i?

Who cares if I got injured? Im running again now, aren’t I?

Who cares if its no longer pretty summer weather to exercise in? I have long sleeved sht.

There are things that I want to see more of. Things like hip bones and muscle definition. And we all know there is only one way to make that happen.



but but but…



N.O. NO.



When I was losing weight, there were things happening to my body that were addicting! I was watching my shape change, I was watching my body develop as the fat melted away. I couldnt BELIEVE what I was seeing under there! Things I really really loved! LIKE OBLIQUES!

omg the day my obliques showed up i liked to lose my sht. You shoulda seen me, late for work cause I was busy taking side pics in my bedroom mirror.

Can you imagine what it will be like when I can see my six pack starting to show through? Im gonna call in sick probably!

Guy was recently asked what advice he gives girls who want an ass that guys really like. What kind, how do you make it? Is it genetic only?

He told her- if you want a great ass- forget about your ass and work on your hamstrings. No one’s ass looks good unless they have developed hamstrings. She bounced off in amazement with determination to do squats, etc.

But me, well, I question EVERYTHING. Why? Where did you get that idea?

1. It is a big muscle that you can see without being a contortionist.
2. There is usually less fat to lose before you can see that muscle develop- so progress is more apparent, more more quickly apparent than on your ass.
3. Seeing progress motivates you to keep going.
4. You can’t work your hamstrings without working your glutes.
5. Saying UGH I HAVE TO GO WORKOUT MY ASS is something we are all tired of hearing and saying. But Hamstrings… how fun are those?
6. Sitting a pretty ass on top of chicken legs or tree trunks is no bueno. Sitting it on top of a pair of stems, is beautiful.
7. Usually when you can focus on something you CAN change, the things you think you can’t change… naturally follow.

DINGDINGDING!!!



So Im going to focus things that I CAN CHANGE and hopefully things that I feel will never change, will react to what Im doing differently.

I feel like I cant get my tummy fat to go away no matter what, BUT Im getting petty good progress at slimming down my arms and legs. I may not have lost any weight in the last year, but i’ll be damned if my arms and legs aint half the size they were last year!

me last year @175:



me this year @ 175:



I spent A YEAR focusing on NON-POUNDAGE VICTORIES and what did I get out of it?
NON-POUNDAGE VICTORIES!

So that’s it. I spent a year doing it that way and defnititely made a difference. Now Im going to go back to letting the scale matter. I can only go so far while pretending the scale doesnt matter when I actually want to lose some more weight. I know my body very well and although I know it may seem to many that I should just STOP where Im at- I see how much fat I can grab on my thighs, I see the gut that strains against my leggings, I can tell how much of my back fat can be trimmed. I dont know if I need to lose 20 or 40 but I know I need to start losing again before these non-scale victories can start happening in different areas of my life.

iF I DONT CHANGE SOMETHING, I WILL BE FAT UNTIL I DIE.

I dont want to have to squeeeeeeeeeeeze into a booth and pretend I dont notice. i dont want to get so big that i break furniture because it simply cannot support my weight. i dont want to be the friend that everyone makes excuses for because my size is so damn ridiculous that I cant take the subway because I dont fit through the doors. I dont want to get up over 400 pounds and still tell people Im only 250. I dont want to backslide all my progress and turn back into the creature that I was, that got the looks and the stares because I allowed my body to turn into something that could have its own orbit.

I dont like pretending Im normal, I like actually being normal.
Denial isnt sexy, self-awareness is.
Lying to myself is bullsht, being honest is beautiful.
Treating my body like an trashcan is hateful and ugly, treating it like an amusement park is far more loving and beautiful.
Saying I dont care, doesnt mean I dont.
And eating because I met a minigoal is like turning around and walking away from the finish line.

I dont want to be a fat stupid American.

Pounds need to matter again. Need to lose a little of the extra, to make room for the better.



Ok!

So how do I lose pounds?

I mean, I know how to do ST for muscle and trimming. I know how to curb my eating, which I have recently revolutionized TWICE (thanks wheat, jerk). I know how to make sure i MOVE EVERY DAY and I know that regular cardio sessions are the only sure fire way to lose weight.

So. More cardio.

Well, the fact that I have now found a place where I can do 200 JUMPINGJACKS without going through the floor, means Im going to turn it into a place where I can do 10 sets of 100 jumping jacks without going through the floor.

I have hills and open sidewalks and streetlights blasting Christmas music? Get out there into it.

The sidewalks in my own neighborhood are too crowded to go in the evenings? Don’t want to walk over two avenues to jog down 7th Ave where its desolate, clean and quiet? You dumbass, 2 avenue blocks is part of your warmup. Skip the fifth ave crowds and run down 7th. Its prettier anyway. You can walk back down 5th to get home during your cool-down. Genius. *shakes head at self*

I quit my gym membership though! What do I do when it snows? Jumpin jacks bitch, we just discussed this.

The thing is not what to do or how to go about it or when we can get it done, the thing is doing it when its time to do it.



Its a choice.

It’s MY CHOICE.

IT’S MY CHOICE TO CHANGE, TO DO, TO GO, TO MAKE, TO CREATE, TO LIVE.

ITS ALL ABOUT CHOICES. ALL OF IT.

ALSO…



EVERY TIME I FIND MYSELF CONSIDERING SKIPPING A WORKOUT BECAUSE OF SOME LAME REASON OR ANOTHER (BUT BASICALLY BECAUSE I DONT FEEL LIKE TAKING THE VERY FIRST STEP)…. I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT IM MAKING A CHOICE.



Do I want to ever see my hipbones or am I happy overflowing my jeans?
Do I ever wanna fit those size 7 jeans on my wall or am I ok with elastic waist bands?
Do I want to be able to curl up with my Sharkslayer and just lose myself in the moment or am I ok with thinking about how much my stomach folds over itself and into my lap when Im sitting on the couch? Can I just stand forever?
Do I want to jump on top during sex and have thestamina of a 17 year old boy?
Yes yes I do.

Wait, is she really making this compleely about lookingbetter naked because she’s falling for a guy?
28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvhovg04N
N1qgw1f2o1_250.gif
Whatever gets you through your workouts, my friends.

Im chasing something.

Im chasing an attainable something.

Im chasing something that I want to catch.

How am I suppoed to catch something from the observation deck?

Im not.

IM SUPPOSED TO CATCH IT BY GOING OUT THERE AND RUNNING AFTER IT! HULLO!



IM SPOSED TO CATCH IT BY USING MY BRAIN AND SNEAKING UP ON IT IN THE WILD!



IM SPOSED TO CATCH IT BY GETTING UP EARLY AND SUBMERSING MYSELF IN ITS ENVIRONMENT! (NOT MY OWN)



“IT” IS THE REAL ME.

HOW AM I GOING TO FIND THIS CRAZY WOMAN AND HUNT HER DOWN AND MAKE HER ME?



I have to catch her.

I have to find her in places I dont go very often, doing things I don’t do as often as I should, because Im not going to find her in front of me waiting to exist, and Im not going to find her in my bed sleeping late.

She is on the move, an elusive target, so I must be an agile hunter.

Looks like December is oing to be hunting season and that bitch is MINE.




In DECEMBER:

Its about POUNDS again.
Its about CARDIO again.
Its about CONSISTENCY again.
Its about forcing myself to take the first step and START my workout.
Its about defying WEATHER.
Its about creating STEAM.
Its about hunting down my PREY.
Its about HAMSTRINGS!
Its about the 160s and SEX. Yeah you heard me.

The non-scale victories will come along while Im concentrating on the scale again. I don’t feel like focusing on pounds is bad since spent 13 months pretending that only other things mattered. Well, everyone is different and Im ready for some pounds to drop again.



Ive been aiming toward my utimate goal weight for a LONG TIME, its time I DO finish what I started. I wanna do it this winter!

I promised myself years ago that I would lose 120 pounds. I HAVE to KEEP that PROMISE!
But i also promise that if I start getting closer to 140 and Im looking sick or underweight, I will quit and work on sculpting instead of pounds.

Its about follow through
Its bout loving myself
Its about proving it.
Its about faith and electricity.
Its about shiny and alive.
Its about strength and bragging rights.
Its about not growing stagnant and still.
THIS IS EVOLUTION IN REAL TIME.



Alsothis^

Now if you’ll excuse me…