this is according to the new Women’s Health new book the big book of exercises
1) You’ll Lose 40 Percent More Fat
Penn State did a study where they had three groups of overweight participants, one group did no exercise and ate a reduced calorie diet, the second group ate a low calorie diet and…
Get Off Your Ass Already: Beating The Workout Blahs
by Susan Lacke
You know how it is: On New Year’s Eve, tipsy with optimism and champagne, you gaze wide-eyed at the world, declaring this will be your year. You’ll finally join the gym, lose those 10 pounds, run a marathon and make Orlando Bloom fall in love with you.
These goals always get off to a great start, but by the end of January, you’re on the couch with a dusty gym pass, a dozen cupcakes and a restraining order from Orlando’s people. (P.S. – Not cool, Orlando. I really thought we had something special, baby.)
Where did it all go wrong? You started out so motivated, and now you’re feeling uninspired. Don’t be discouraged. Get your fitness goals back on track, STAT! Here’s how:
Get Some New Threads
Just because you’re sweating doesn’t mean you have to look dumpy. If you look like crap, then you’re going to feel like crap, and feeling like crap usually ends on the couch, not the elliptical machine. Purchase new athletic clothing that you feel good in and (this is key, people) actually wear it to work out.
My pick-me-up is buying new tights. Not only do they keep my legs warm during winter runs, they make me feel like a superhero! I sometimes wear them to the grocery store post-run to lift cars off the elderly and nurse baby birds back to health.
Change it Up
People underestimate the power of a new sport, workout class or running trail. Do something different – even a new spin instructor keeps things fresh (especially if said spin instructor is hot).
Feeling really desperate for a change? Have a friend drive to the worst neighborhood in town and push you out of the car. Then try telling me you don’t feel like running today.
Grab a Partner
I’m a big fan of working out with friends. After all, misery loves company. Besides, you may cuss a lot while training; If a curse word is uttered in a swimming pool and no one’s around to hear it, did it really make a sound?
Read Inspiring Stories
The Internet is full of tear-jerker tales of cancer survivors who escaped the jungle after eight years of living in captivity while also raising sixteen children and creating a successful knitted-goods store on Etsy.com. Oh, yeah, and ran a marathon last weekend. With a glass eye and prosthetic leg.
Read these stories and remind yourself there are others out there who overcome worse challenges than yours every day. Or something like that. I don’t know, I’m not Oprah Winfrey. Just get off your butt and work out already.
If you have a Pinterest account, you can spend hours sucked into the vortex of inspiration. See what others have “pinned” for inspiration, and know that you’re not alone in your struggle.
There’s a multitude of pin-worthy stuff on Pinterest, from photos of rock-hard abs (not me) to links to credible fitness experts (also not me). Whatever you do, stay away from any pins involving food. If you’re like me, one thing will lead to another, and the next thing you know, the Domino’s guy is thanking you for your order.
Stop Making Excuses
Yes, it’s cold outside. No one said you had to do your workout outdoors. Do a pilates video at home or go to the gym, and you can complain about other things, like being too warm and that weird smell on the yoga mats.
And don’t even try “I don’t have time” – you just wasted a bunch of time reading this post, Pinterest-ing, and shopping for superhero tights. Trust me…you have time.
Tell me – what do you do to get excited about working out when your motivation starts to dip?
10 REASONS RUNNING DOESN’T SUCK AS MUCH AS YOU THINK
10 Reasons Running Doesn’t Suck As Much As You Think
by Susan Lacke
The word “running” used to conjure up painful and awkward memories of gym class. My middle-school gym teacher, Mrs. Morey, would stand her roly-poly body at the top of the hill behind our school, barking through a megaphone between bites of beef jerky at us red-faced kids as we ran circles around the track. According to her, running was supposed to build character, or whatever it is they teach gym teachers to say in gym teacher school.
Needless to say, most of the gasping kids on the track were thinking the same thing: Character? <bleep> you. Choke on your jerky, fatty.
Your first experience with running was probably in gym class. And it’s quite possible it left the same rancid taste in your mouth, with little desire to ever run again. But no more! I hit the reset button on my attitude towards running, and for the last two years, have gone from hating running to loving it (most of the time). Running really doesn’t suck as much as you think. Here’s why:
- Most races and fun runs are full of hot bodies in very little clothing. Let me repeat that: HOT PEOPLE. WEARING PRACTICALLY NOTHING. Wear sunglasses, and ogle with reckless abandon.
- You can lose weight by drinking nothing but hot water with lemon. Or you can run for an hour, treat yourself to a cookie and still fit into your skinny jeans. One of these options makes you bitchy; the other makes you rad.
- Take your iPod with you, and your runs suddenly become a safe place to indulge your love of boy-band music. With enough practice, you can even blend in a couple dance moves from ‘Bye Bye Bye’. Don’t lie: You’ve still got that routine memorized.
- When your boss, your melodramatic friend and your nagging to-do list won’t leave you alone, calmly put on your running shoes and head out the door. They won’t follow you. It’s a safer alternative to storming out with both middle fingers in the air (though you can -and should- still do this in your head, just for spectacular effect).
- You’ll discover lululemon pants are good for more than just buying tampons and Cheez-its at Target (I know, ladies. My world was rocked with that discovery, too.).
- Running is the last place you have to “be a lady.” Sweat, snot and sneaking behind a bush to pee is not only liberating it’s fun, in that giggly-childish-naughty kind of way.
- Getting a run in before happy hour means you get tipsy on half a glass of wine instead of your usual two. That’s not being a lush, that’s just sound economic planning.
- Studies have shown that runners have better sex. Sex counts as a cross-training workout, which in turn makes you a better runner, which – hello! – leads to even better sex. Really, the whole thing is full of win-wins.
- Girls are lucky; there’s an entire industry committed to making us look awesome while getting our sweat on. Workout clothes come in all sorts of cool colors and designs. Jockstraps, on the other hand, will always be ugly with questionable stains.
- Non-runners will sit on the couch and call you crazy. Those folks, sadly, will never learn what their bodies are capable of. You, on the other hand, will die knowing you completely, totally, unabashedly used up the body that was loaned to you. That’s not crazy. That’s freakin’ awesome.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
DAILY MUST-DO LIST
- hang up clothing
- make sure all the dirty clothes are together in the hamper- not the corner
- put away everything on the vanity top
- make sure socks and underwear are in the dresser, not in a pile ON the dresser
- make sure all hats, coats and scarves are hung
WEEK ONE PROJECT
- empty dresser and purge completely
- move it away from the chalkbord wall to a different area of your bedroom
- buy socks
DAILY MUST-DO LIST
- moisturize face and neck twice a day
- cocoa butter and lotion after every bath
- walk at least 3 miles
- brush teeth, floss and wash face
- drink 4 bottles of water
WEEK ONE PROJECT
- 1 run of at least 4 miles
- find Pilates DVD
- 1000 varied crunches
- 2 free weight sessions
DAILY MUST-DO LIST
- organize desk and reference materials
- brainstorm about novel for 30 minutes (in tub, before bed, whenever)
- make sure all your pens and markers are back in their holders
- go over story structure project for half an hour
WEEK ONE PROJECT
- clean out under your bed
- start brainstorming ideas for designs on second chalkboard wall
WEEK ONE PROJECT
OWN THE STONE PONY THIS WEEKEND!
dont dodge pictures
dont hide while taking pictures
dont freak out over being on film
dont get sucked into recent breakup drama
bros before hoes
dont feel guilty
celebrate the Giants winning the Super Bowl
dont freak out because someone s being cold and snobby
*graphics by divine error
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
So I got an idea.
Flustered Rockluster is a silly phrase we often turn when at shows and such, describing that half dressed-up/half messed-up, disoriented state in which we are happy and having fun but something is all wrong and we are stuck, probably because of ‘bandonment issues’ and trying to leave after a show is like herding cats. You’re ineBRIated, its 3 am, your killer heels are killing you, makeup’s a bit wonky, hair is mussed, dunno where you’re headed next or when, starving, etc.
So I was back in my spot in the middle of my bed listening to music last night, and I was trying to think my way through this whole wall. This steel-reinforced concrete anti-terrorist wall. And I started zooming in on certain parts as though I was a lazerbeam of light coming through a magnifying glass, sizzling my motives like unfortunate ants.
Here’s what I got.
The lack of superficial victories, like getting into smaller clothes and being able to say my weight out loud, and having a bikini body, asserts itself in my brain as a complete lack of goal achievement, since my physical appearance has become important to me, when once I really dgaf.
I’m getting hung up on this part of my life, so its detracting from joy I should be feeling in other areas and replacing it with self-doubt and loathing. Its throwing off my balance.
What do the pros usually do for their clients? like when entertainment value is absolutely necessary for the viewing audience on the other side of the camera that’s waiting for well timed progress?
What do they do when they are 4/5 of the way through?
What they do is the makeover episode.
Well since the hold up on the superficial and the numbers is whats pissing me off, then I will embrace that I need surface work in several areas of my life.
I am going to embark on a 2 part makeover of enormous magnitude.
There are four parts of my life that will be getting four overhauls, so this means that even when I am not seeing progress in one area, I can see with my own eyes that it is because I am progressing in another area. I will have something small I need to do every day in each category, and a bigger project that I will have a week to complete- again, in each category.
These are the four parts of my life that are getting a makeover:
Wardrobe (includes putting together a closet organization system and purging all old unfitting clothing and building my dressing area)
Body (including losing weight, slimming down and changing my outside appearance in general- from hair to skin to fingernails)
Creativity (includes painting the rest of my room, setting up my own office in my room- better designed for writing, getting a computer and selling my work)
Social (involves my behavior outside of home, in the public eye and all the bravery that entails… including breaking into new scenes and trailblazing alone)
Part One is three months, Feb- April 30
Each day I will have small habits I have to work on building to last, such as taking care of my skin on my body and not just my face, making sure all clothing is put away before bed, spent at least 45 minutes of actual sweaty exercise- if I dont feel like I worked out- it doesnt count- cause it means I didnt give a crap, that my brainstorming for creative sessions is done, and all my emails and text messages have been answered- working on that list tomorrow- my daily lists.
Each week, I will have a bigger project- such as- empty your closet and sort all your dressy clothes and set aside which dresses you can give away, dye your roots and give yourself a pedi, go to an event in this neighborhood, finish this video or chapter and complete a run, a pilates session and a boxing session before sunday night.
At the end of the three months, hopefully I will have made serious progress in all these areas and have created some lovely healthy habits.
Part Two is May… the final countdown to Coney Island Opening Day
May is going to be the kick at the end of the marathon. My finishing lap. With all the healthy slow buildup of the previous three months, I will be (should be) able to dive into May with feet on fire, to kick my physical activity into overdrive and shock my metabolism.
The end of May finishes with a rock-wall climb-off between Joshua and I… and if I’ve lost at least 15 of the 20-25 pounds I have left to lose… a tattoo. O_O I know- me and my commitment issues, right?
But Part Two’s planning must wait until April, when I see what I have become by then.
But with this plan, which appeals to my superficiality, my need and love for balance, my love of all things fashion and pampering and social aspects of rocknroll… I think I can approach this as a big makeover transition and stick with it. It helps the contestants on TV to get their fire back, why not me?
I’m going to pull out all the stops, motivation walls, calendars, stickers, power point presentations, naked seminars, kitchen overhauls, new exercises, everything. Its the only option left to me.
Because for some reason, I just thought that eventually Yoovie and Bri would just blend together- but its not happening. I have to do major surgery- cause these girls are butting heads- they are becoming too much alike and its not natural to live in conflict like this…
its called multiple-personality disorder, sheesh.
So… surgery starts.
I’m giving myself a makeover over of metal proportions.
I will be someone else by summer.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Today is my mom’s 53rd birthday. WHerever you are mom, I hope youre rockin it.
January has been so insane for me that Im going to make a list here and now to see how I spent the month. I keep getting dates and weeks and weekends blurred together.
30 - Hoboken No Jokin - Maxwell’s Concert
31 - TAI’s House, Ball Drop, Haven New Years Party
1 - shopping with Sophian, New Year’s Day Dinner with Kate and Jen
2 - broke up with Sophian, spent the day with the band
3 - Kate and Jen came over for dinner
4 - date at the Haven
5 - Matterhorn came to visit!
7 - Anthony came to visit! Tali’s Bday Party @ Shoolbred!!
9 - BCS Championship Game with Chris, Jen, Joshua, Sarah and Allie Icicle Lights
10 - date @ Three Jolly Pigeons
11 - date @ Sunset Park
14 - Santino’s Birthday @ Rock n Rose
15 - Applejack Diner, Giant’s Game @ TAI, shepherding Santino around NYC
16 - Jen’s House dinner with roommates
18 - Hanging out @ Vinny’s
20 - party @ Jens
21 - Canal Room & Rubix Cube for Anns bday
23 - Jersey with Danny
24 - pregaming at Rock n Rose
25 - Scarlet Carson Headline debut @ Tammany, after show- hot tub party @ TAI
26 - Girls night at my place/marikart64tournament
27 - Slumber Party with Jen
28 - Hot Tub Party
3 - Scarlet Carson/TAI at the Stone Pony on the Jersey Shore
4 - Jersey Shore
5 - Super Bowl Party in Astoria
So THIS is why I have to spend the next 5 days (including today) doing an hour of exercise each day. I want to look GREAT on Friday at the pony.
Motivations for the week include (but are not limited to):
the black corset Im wearing Friday
suddenly finding myself often in my panties without warning due to the new hot tub at TAI-HQ
close encounters of the oops kind
about to make my second venture into the Jersey shore area scene, want to feel my best
(sunshiny secret in 2 weeks)
this year, we dance.
3 months til the beach… groan - not that it really matters since im having to rock bikini in my pale pasty lumpy body right NOW
someone there has seen me naked.
an hour minimum each day this week- I dont care what I do (as long as its more than stretching) I dont care if its:
sexy hot naked pilates
unsexy awkward ridiculous jumping jacks
planks and body weight exercises
get sweaty, get stupid, for an hour every day this week.
This week’s Meal Plan
Monday - whole wheat pasta with homemade fresh sauce from farmer’s market tomatoes, onions, peppers and olives
Tuesday - chicken and cashew nuts with brown rice and veggies
Wednesday - asparagus and baby corn stirfry and lamb
Thursday - Tuna filet and brussels sprouts
Friday - redbull and vodka (but for my mid-day meal Im having salmon)
Saturday- good lord- whatever I can find on the boardwalk
Sunday- probably bad- super bowl food
Here’s some pics of what I’ve been up to!
serious birthday karaoke business at Rock & Rose
(before the real show- see below)
my two favorite bands taking over the stage at Tammany Hall
Also - Im updating my online photography profile, it can now be found at:
So this week, I gotta pamper my ego a bit, cause Im about to be in front of tons of people and I dont want inner Bri to freak the frak out at the last minute. I need yoovie/bri to be one person, bright shiny engaging happy dancing free spirited and NOT SCARED.
Best way to do that is to go no prisoners all week.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
Serve Me Up the Sky With a Big Slice of Lemon
Thursday, January 19, 2012
So my problem was three fold.
1. I needed a direction to go in. And no, FORWARD is not the obv answerino. Ok maybe it is, but I needed to pick a vessel to carry me forward. No exercise or fitness was appealing to me anymore. Running wasnt getting me anywhere. Boxing required enthusiasm I didnt have. Jumping Jacks wanted perky energy that I dont feel like mustering.
2. All I wanted for Christmas was a hyperthyroid. I mean, I know these last twenty are going to be hard. Hell Ive been saying that for a year an a half. The hard scares me. How hard? What if its too hard and that means I really dont want it? If youre not willing to sacrifice for your dream, its not your dream. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to sacrifice ANYTHING and that scared me.
3. I started leaning on healthy motivation again. I have proved to myself repeatedly that this is not an effective way of motivating me. It was what was expected in the spark community, but it simply doesnt work for me. Sexy works better for me. I needed to find the sexy part again and stop trying to bend to the conservative will of spark. Its entirely possible to remain myself without overstepping their laws.
Of course I wont solve any of these until I can solve all three at once and usually that just happens when Im talking things out. Thankfully, all three of these issues have been hacky-sacking around in my head while trying to figure out how to ‘start’ over entirely. I started thinking about what I was doing when I first started losing weight almost 100 pounds ago. I couldnt run, and walking hurt my old hip injuries. I felt stupid and fat on a bike. I did pilates. It really gave me the change I needed to see to stick with it long enough to be at a weight where I could start jogging and walking everywhere and getting in more cardio.
Maybe I need to go back to that.
Pilates would solve all three of my issues AND make me feel as though I was starting completely over again.
1. A Vessel to carry me forward. I can reinvest in Pilates. It is actually appealing to me in a fog where nothing else is. I think it is because it calls to that sexy side of me. Its about my body. Its about spending time with my body. Hell I can even do it naked.
2. It requires me to sacrifice something precious to me, but not something I dont mind sacrificing. TIME. Spending time indoors, working up a slow steady heart pounding excruciatingly intricate kind of pain via Pilates, sounds good to me. Time is something I can contribute to the altar of my goals. Sacrificing distance, meaning, running 6 miles from my house and having to come back- not doing it for me. Sacrificing my quiet mood, meaning, working myself up to box when Im not pissed… not doing it for me. Sacrificing comfort and feeling delicate and pretty to do jumping jacks? Its not calling me loud enough. But pilates…. pilates actually sounds inviting.
3. I can make this so sexy. I can do it by fairy lights, with incense burning and the heat cranked up. I can listen to soulful music, rock music, belly dancing music, TOOL, idgaf. I can wear my tiniest workout clothes and get dripping wet on the floor in front of my fireplace. I can feel sexy as I pay attention to all the muscles in my core engaging, my legs strengthening and my back and torso elongating. I want to feel the sweat drip down my spine and wet the hair at the nape of my neck. I should also be tanner as I do this.
Maybe if I can do 12 hour long pilates sessions in the next 4 weeks, then I can treat myself to a tanning session. Hmmm that does sound good to me.
oooh - let’s check out some added bonuses!!
1. this will help me reach my bikini handstand on the beach picture goal
2. I think it will definitely affect that layer of fat floating on top of the muscles I want so badly to see
3. Constantly working on my core in new ways will make sure that I stay mindful about what Im eating, because you cant out-exercise a bad diet.
4. Its time to shake up my abs routine.
5. This may be so opposite to running that it may actually break up this plateau.
6. Raises my body awareness
7. gives incredibly good posture side-effects
8. Hopefully it will help me with my rockclimbing somehow as well- maybe the stability and core strength
9. It will work my entire body each time.
10. It doesnt feels like reps and sets you.
11. Increase flexibility
12. you can zen the frak out at the same time.
So because I have no computer or TV area and am going to be doing this in my room, Im printing out all these BLOGILATES’seses (Have you seen this stuff??? I love this and have BEEN wanting to try all her stuff)
So because I have no computer or TV area and am going to be doing this in my room, Im printing out all these BLOGILATES’seses (Have you seen this stuff??? I love this and have BEEN wanting to try all her stuff - esp the corset workout!)
printables-2 also blogilates.tumblr.com
Im the hero of my story, I dont need to be saved.
What are your favorite new toys that come with a new weight loss program?
new shoes? (thick or thin soled? colorful or black? etc)
new workoutfits? (where you shopping?)
new music? (like what?)
tape measure and scale?
fun fitness toys?
what kind of rewards do you get yourself as minigoal motivators?
Tell me your favorite!!!
What are some of the BEST things, the MOST FUN things, about starting a weightloss journey?
Yoovie’s PLATEAU Theory - reposted for SELF
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Major sections of your personality hinge on your perception of your physical appearance.
Which is controlled by your brain.
Which doesn’t change as fast as your body.
You following me still?
As you change the shape of your body, your perception of yourself does not necessarily change at the same rate. Where you may have gone from an 8 to a 6 or from a 22W to an 18… your perception of your body might not have changed at all.
This is very hindering!
“I’ve lost 50 pounds but can’t really seeee the difference!”
“I had to buy an entirely new wardrobe but I dont feel smaller.”
“I have no idea what the scale is talking about, cause I still see the fat.”
“THIS IS BULLSH*T!”
You’d think that losing the poundage would be an instant and immediate change in our reflection. But that reflection has to go through our brain filters first.
Our brain filters… some good some bad. Like?
1. Comparing to the person next to you or someone else in general. That’s the first and quickest way to alter your perception away from your simple sense of sight.
2. Comparing yourself to what you USED to see. This can be good or bad. If you are used to seeing your reflection span the entire width of the mirror and now there are several inches of bathroom wallpaper visible behind you, AWESOME. But you can see how comparing to your old self would also affect what you actually see in front of you, negatively.
3. Inner critics. Moms, aunts, best friends, significant others… all those unwanted, unbidden opinions floating around in your head… alter what your brain is processing.
4. Self-inflicted expectations. These can also be good or bad. Expectations to eat right and be active can have a postive reinforcement in your brain filters. Expectations to lose 9 jean sizes between New Year’s and the beach… ehhhh notsomuch helpful.
5. This is the tough one. This is the Reflection that you have gotten used to seeing. The YOU that you ARE. The grownup, this is me, reflection. When we are very used to seeing one person in the mirror, and she starts looking very different…. it can be very disconcerting.
NOW hold that thought….
When you are doing cardio or ST.. and you need a rest to catch your breath and get your bearings… do you take it?
When I run, I run a block or three and then walk a block, run a block or three and then walk a block. It dawned on me yesterday that that is EXACTLY how my weight loss progress goes. But if I walk too long instead of hopping back into a run at the next block… lol guess what, no loss.
Running = losing steadily
Walking = maintaining
Stopping = gaining or giving up.
Now… I walk until I can give my poor ankles a break, catch my breath and adjust my tits. Change the song on my iPod, take a picture, drink some water, ogle a hottie running past. Tie my shoes, wipe the sweat off my face, get it out of my eyes and decide which direction I will go next.
We need these little moments of walking. Think about it.
Give my ankles a break = time off for injuries
Catch my breath = take care of other things going on that have higher priority
Adjust my tits = rearrange your schedule
Change the song on my iPod = find a new way to invigorate yourself
Take a picture = stop to smell the roses along the way OR take a progress picture, take stock in how far you’ve come
Drink some water = check in on how you are caring for yourself
Ogle a hottie running past = time out for silly ish
Tie my shoes = make sure you aren’t doing anything the unsafe way
Wipe the sweat off my face = slough off the bad habits you’re steadily dropping
Get it out of my eyes = (DING DING DING - PAY ATTENTION) GIVE YOUR BRAIN’S PERCEPTION OF YOU TIME TO CATCH UP TO WHAT YOU REALLY LOOK LIKE AND FEEL LIKE NOW. YOUR ABILITIES AND DIMINISHED LIMITATIONS. There’s a new ‘you’ to get used to in the mirror.
Decide which direction I will go next = Decide which path to take. Do I keep maintaining this walk for a little while until I have done all those things? Do I stop? Do I quit? Can I start running again now? Left? Right? Up the hill?
There are so many things right there that we can get hung up on when we reach a plateau. Sometimes we’ve handled everything except the part where we are giving our brains and bodies enough time to SYNC UP AGAIN. It’s frustrating, I know.
Sometimes, the more weight you’ve lost… the longer that plateau might last, even if you never stop exercising regularly, never give up eating right, never slow to a walk… but it’s time that you NEED so your perception isnt completely out of whack.
I KNOW. BELIEEEEEEEEEEEVE ME, I KNOW. I spent last summer in agony, trying to live in a body that was 90 pounds smaller than the me I’d been used to for a decade. 90 pounds. That’s like… Justin Beiber.
I looked a million times better. My skin was radiant from all the water, my hair was badass as usual, but I was taking turns too widely, sucking in my stomach to edge around a chair when I had more than enough room to walk straight past it. Wearing clothing 3 sizes too big. Avoiding any kind of attention at all. Getting angry when someone would tell me I was beautiful and fit because obviously they were mocking me. I was hiding behind people (and door frames/lazy-boys/kitchen islands) still, I was being so harsh on myself. I FLAT OUT REFUSED to date anyone who was physically fit. O_o (wacked out yo)
My stubborn ass needed a plateau so I could get used to my new body.
Here’s the trick though… you can’t walk forever. One day, you will wake up…. and JUST like the day you woke up and decided (for real) to START this mission to get a better body (for real) and you will realise you can move on from your plateau. You will start running again, and your mind and body will be as one and THEN…
Then the magic happens.
How else would you describe the fact that your body won’t lose any weight that your brain doesnt want it to, despite all physical efforts?
If you’ve hit a plateau, see if you need to adjust your tits, ogle a hottie, tie your shoes, get the sweat out of your eyes or if you are just waiting to pick a direction to go next.
And when you figure it out… grab your brain and start running again.
PS. just dont use this as a friggin excuse or weightloss karma will bite you HARD, babydoll.
Pipe Cleaner Plan
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Did you ever play with pipe cleaners when you were a kid?
Did you know that they were created for unfun work like cleaning medical equipment and grandpa’s pipe? They are made for function only. A soft absorbent material wrapped around a flexible backbone to keep things in the right place and not break or get stuck.
Not unlike our bodies.
And definitely not unlike our weight loss plans.
Well- we all know the unfun part of this.
Get enough sleep.
Wash your workout clothes.
This is the wire in the middle.
We can bend it to match our lifetyles, but if you are constantly bending it this way and that and all over the place, eventually it gets so kinked up that you need a fresh one.
Its not starting over, its just grabbing a new pipe cleaner.
But… humans being what they are, pipe cleaners did not remain grey and functional and boring cleaning implements. They turned into wild and crazy fun colors and we started inventing ways to turn them into creative sources of entertainment.
So we have to look at the wire part again and see what kind of fun absorbent color we can wrap them in.
1. Eat right: wrap this in an enthusiasm for trying new foods and replacing the bad foods with healthy delicious things we’ve never (or rarely) try.
need crunchy and salty chips? try pretzels, healthy crackers like triscuit (my fave - esp dipped in hummus or cottage cheese) or wheat thins, goldfish, sunsflower seeds, cheezy rice cakes and popcorn.
need something crunchy but you want it sweet? try things like caramel rice cakes, or nuts with cinnamon, or pecans or walnuts with craisins or something, apple slicess with peanut butter, a quarter of a cup of ice cream mixed with dry cheerios… get creative.
want just plain sweet? hit the yogurt, the cereal bars, strawberries and (dark) chocolate, 100 calorie packs (JUST ONE, CRAZY LADY), hot cocoa, peppermints, raspberries, frozen grapes… it does NOT have to be skittles in a milkshake to ease an actual sweettooth.
2. Exercise consistently: It doesnt say run 30 miles a week and do 100 pushups every morning, does it? Noooo. It leaves the HOW 100% in YOUR hands. And when you know how to do something well, it gets more and more fun.
Want group exercise? there are millions of classes from spinning to latin dancing that will work you into a feverish sweat alongside people you can laugh and compete with.
Need to burn off some aggression? Boxing and kickboxing with inanimate objects can replace years of therapy in some cases.
Need pure fun? rollerblading, hula hooping, dancing in your livingroom, cartwheels, jungle gyms, playing with your kids… if you do these things for TWENTY MINUTES STRAIGHT twice a day, they work. Imagine if youre having a blast and do even more.
Need organization? join a local sports team at the Y or something, volleyball, tennis, basketball, choose your poison.
Want old fashioned? do a couple weeks of regular calisthenics.
Want slow and steady and strengthening? Try yoga or pilates or yogilates and treat your mind as well as your body.
Want fast and furious? buy a bike and work on going farther and farther and farther
Want to feel self-propelled? start the couch to 5K program as a stepping stone to the freedom of running, which in turn leads to exploring your sense of adventure in a world where all you need is your feet and a beat.
There are so many exercise options out there that “exercise consistently” CANT get boring. Something not working anymore? THat pipe cleaner all kinked up? Get a new one.
3. Drink water. Add lemon or raspberries to it. Get a personalised, just for you, awesome reusable water bottle. Decorate with with decals, or your favorite exercise mantra. Freeze ice cubes with bits of fruit in them to make your boring glass of water look expensive and luxurious. Drink it ice cold (if you dont have tooth problems) and refill EVERY TIME IT GETS EMPTY… or it will just sit there until it ends up being left behind every day and forgotten for weeks.
4. Get enough sleep. Make your bedroom into a heavenly cloud of peace and beauty and nurturing solace and a haven from the craziness of the world. Dont use your bed as a place to play with electronics- especially right before you go to bed. Did you know that if you spend time with technology before bed, it hampers the ability of your brain to turn off, which then makes you sit back up, re-open your laptop and continue surfing til 4 am? Its a vicious self-injuring cycle.
READ A BOOK or listen to music. Start dimming the lights (or switch to a lamp instead of the overhead light) and leaving behind technology about an hour before bed to send secret messages to your brain to start calming down.
5. Wash your workout clothes. Just do this do you have no excuse tomorrow.
6. Repeat: Grab a new pipe cleaner and redo your spark page. If a cycle is dulling, make a different one.
ALL OF THE POWER IS ENTIRELY YOURS.
Things that break or kink up your pipe cleaner plan
1. Saying “I have to go to the gym everyday” if you don’t already go several times a week. You cant go from 5% to 100% in a snap resolution. You must build so you can teach your body with love to adjust to your new lifestyle. You cant just tell your child, YO KID FROM NOW ON YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL AT NIGHT AND SLEEP ALL DAY. AND NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOING TO GO WITH YOU. wtf. NO.
Start by saying something like, I have to work out twenty minutes every day. THAT IS DOABLE. That’s like telling your kid, ok starting tomorrow, we are going to leave 10 minutes earlier for school ok? It may mean you have to wake up slightly earlier. BUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE SHAPE OF YOUR BODY OR DO YOU WANT TO LAY ON YOUR BED FOR 10 MINUTES?
If you really truly actually want to change, and are ready to change… stop finding the best excuse not to. Is changing yourself worth 10 minutes in the morning and 10 at night? No? Ok, I guess you really dont want it. Bye.
2. Refusing to forgive yourself. If you miss a day, and you punish yourself by giving up because there is no way to fix a broken streak… then you want to be a failure because you didnt fail until you decided you did. Missing a streak or having a binge day does NOT cancel out all the other days when you did the right thing. So effing what. that was yesterday. BE GLAD YOU EVEN HAVE A TODAY.
3. Lying to yourself. Saying you worked out longer or did more reps than you did or not tracking that cake batter bowl that you licked clean is LYING to yourself. Why would you do that to yourself? Why be mean like that? What does it gain you? Guilt? Regression? Denial? NOT SEXY YO.
Here is why you want to track those things properly. If you look back at your results in six months and cant figure out why you can still only do 25 pushups.. because you forgot you were lying at the beginning and could only do 10… then how are you able to measure your progress.
Compete against your former self always.
Beat your own actual PR.
Be proud of your clean eating so you know its ok to have sweets when you do.
Track those sweets.
Evolve into a stronger healthier individual.
NO CHEATING BY LYING.
I swear to you that being honest with yourself is not only ok… but its the only way to win.
So take your new shiny 2012 pipe cleaner plan, and change from some boring medical apparatus into an adorable, completely unique, fun colorful expression of your personality.
(feel free to share this with anyone you think may benefit, as it is not about anything personal Im dealing with :) )
Too Awesome and Twelve
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
.com for keeping me inspired all year- I will be using their graphics in this blog- and also thank you the guy credited in the watermark on this pic:
(o hai awesome girl!)
1. UPDATE BUCKET LIST
TIMES SQ NEW YEARS EVE
DIE ON A ROCKWALL
SING ON STAGE
NAIL A FRONTMAN
RUN A HALF MARATHON 4 WEEKENDS IN ONE MONTH
RUN A FULL MARATHON
RUN A SUB-8 MINUTE MILE
GET INTO SIZE 6 JEANS
GROW MY HAIR TO MY WAIST
GO TO EUROPE AGAIN
HAVE A 25 INCH WAIST
MASS CIRCULATION OF A PHOTO (3 PHOTOS WOO!)
BIKINI HANDSTAND ON THE BEACH
HIKE THE GRAND CANYON RIM TO RIM
HIKE MACHU PICCHU
SHOOT THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD - ALL OF THEM
BE AN EXTRA IN A MOVIE
HAVE SEX IN PUBLIC
CARVE MY NAME IN THE WALL AT CBGB’S (the original)
ROADTRIP ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITH BFF
GO TO CALIFORNIA/ WEST COAST
SHOOT A MAJOR LABEL BAND (thanks Saliva!)
ASSAULT AN A-LIST CELEBRITY ( ove you Alec! Im sorry!)
SHOOT FASHION WEEK
TAKE PICTURES OF AN A-LIST CELEBRITY (ty Gwen!)
SHOOT ONE OF THE BANDS THAT I WAS OBSESSED WITH WHEN I WAS 16
SHOOT GROUND ZERO AND THE PROGRESS OF THE NEW WTC
VISIT THE 9/11 MEMORIAL
RUN FROM 1 END OF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE TO THE OTHER W/OUT STOPPIN
BUILD A SNOWMAN TALLER THAN ME
RUN FROM MY HOUSE TO CENTRAL PARK
RUN A CIRCUIT OF CENTRAL PARK IN JUSTA SPORTS BRA AND CAPRIS
BE IN THE NEWSPAPER FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN BAND PROMOS TELL A BOY I LOVE HIM
2. DECIDE NEW YEAR’S EVOLUTIONS
Now, yall know I dont do reslutions cause those create feelings of guilt and failure to me more than motivation- instead of I pic things that I want to evolve towards being able to do- things I want to turn into more realistic goals.
Instead of saying, I wanna leave the country again!!!!!!!! omgwtfbbq!!!!!!!!!! - I say- I want to put away $20 a month toward a big vacation in 2014 or something.
But that’s not one of them, cause Im financially surviving day to day here.
so here goes!
I want to feel stronger, braver and more confident- so I want to spend this year getting good at things that once seemed impossible to me.
-rock scene navigation
I want to feel beautiful. So I want to spend this year
-caring for my teeth, skin, nails and hair
-developing my personal style with clothing I feel comfortable in, that fits correctly
-finding the silver lining, because smiling is THE MOST beautiful thing
I must find a way to stop taking my reality for granted- so I need to spend time this year
-looking at my life from the outside an honing my perception skills
-nipping negative behavior in the bud by looking at where I was 5 years ago
-finding a blue marble to keep in my pocket (still have not found one) to remind me that its ok to be shiny
Get better about my budget- first by increasing my budget- finding a weekend job to supplement my income until I have the balls to charge for photography.
2012 fitness goals
WALK/RUN/JOG 1000 MILES
LOSE 20 POUNDS
BOX JOSHUA (possibly for youtube LMAO)
GET JEN RUNNING
PARTICIPATE IN A RAC…
sorry, I choked on that one.
TAKE A KICKBOXING CLASS
BE ABLE TO DO 100 SQUATS
MAKE IT TO THE TOP OF A ROCKWALL
BIKINI HANDSTAND (STILL)
***GET MY AB TO SHOW THROUGH MY TUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!***
What are some of YOUR evolutionary goals?
dont care if it makes me uncool, im buying into the HYPE
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
In approximately 24 to 72 hours from now, the gyms will be flooded with New Year’s Resolutionaries stealing our treadmills and stair climbers and sweating on the weight benches and crowding our streets and buying all the protein bars and shouldering you out of crowded gym locker rooms.
But… who was here first?
Everyone say it with me now…
IT DOESNT MATTER
Let’s steal all these newbie’s motivation. It’s ok, it grows back.
Before you launch into an uproar over sabotaging the newly committed (whether they stick around for the long haul or never come back after Monday) let me clarify that that is not what I am talking about.
The whole country, and probably loads of other countries, are gearing up for the big Jan 1 Exercise and Diet Launch. It happens every year, some of us may even have once been part of that wave. Suddenly 19 gazillion people want to lose weight, get fit, skinny up, slim down, pump iron, run a mara or just are tired of being overweight and *THIS* is the year they are going to make it happen for themselves.
In turn, the TV is flooded with all kinds of new workouts and gizmos, the gyms are having sales left and right and waiving registration fees and giving you good specials on classes and premium features. Everyone is out walking. Everyone is heading to the gym. Everyone is skipping the junk food aisle and spending a little more time in the produce section.
So what do the rest of usually do this time of year?
Oh yeah I said it, you’re busted, so I am, but mostly you LOL
Why do we sneer? Cause we were here first? What are we? 8? Is it because we are pretty sure they dont mean it and even though they are here at the gym this week, we *KNOW* that they wont be next week? Cause they act like they know everything and are old pros and we know they just pulled the tags off their shiny new workout clothes?
LEAVE THEM ALONE
instead… why dont we take a few cues from them… (like literally steal them)(jk) Let’s ride this wave for all its worth and when it dies off… well then we’ll find new motivation somewhere else- but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Aren’t shiny new workout clothes fun? Dont they make ya wanna go to the gym or workout?
Isn’t it easier to do things when you are following a crowd instead of struggling as the only one who cares?
If you cant get on the trusty old treadmill, won’t it force you to step outside your comfort zone and discover new areas of the gym? Ain’t that how plateaus are broken? (*gasp* yeah… i totally just scienced you)
Isn’t that raring, ready to go, balls to the wall, unstoppable resolve of theirs contagious?
isn’t this our chance to be the student becoming the teacher? Don’t we now have a wealth of advice to stand up to knowitalls or to help lost wandering newbs?
Isnt a fresh start simply that? refreshing?
I’m going to jump on the bandwagon of New Year’s Resolutionaries and see if they can be my tugboat til I can pull my motivation back together.
I haven’t been exercising much- my daily walks have been kapoot since the blizzard - sorry- cant power walk on black ice, yall. My eating has improved but I still saw a gain recently and Im going to have to stand up and show myself that I’m boss.
But for now, I may wallow for 24 hours. And on January 1, when my gym membership kicks back in, I’ll be there with bells on alongside the rest of the bright eyed and bushy tailed participants in the movement of all that is new and exciting and filled with hope and the promise of results.
And I really dont care if that makes me an uncool sell-out traitor… cause uh… Imma be losin weight yo
Times Square - New Years Eve Recap
Friday Night - “Hoboken No Jokin”
Jen and I ran to the Bowling Green and caught the PATH to HOBOKEN and trekked over a mile along the waterfront, in beautiful dry 50 degree weather, lovinnnnnnnnnn the view of the skyline, especially after just coming FROM the World Trade Center, which now SUPERdwarfs the Empire State Building.
(picture by MYSELF but if you think im putting first/last names, you are quite naive about internet safety)
We walked through the very strange alternate universe of Hoboken, through gorgeous brownstones and walkups that made my mouth water… seriously, some were such gothic estates, I was amdly in love and almost forsook NYC for NJ in a heartbeat.
But then we got to Maxwells and had an AMAZING show, during which Joshua handed me the mic *heart* although, in this picture, it looks more like Im making out with Tim No 37 more than singing along with the guys :)
^picture credi tto Sonya Hanafi
After the show, we all got ishfaced and made a caravan back across (under) the Hudson River, then the East River (over), back to the burg (through the woods), where we went on a 2 am run for coffee, redbull, beer, brooklyn wraps, mountain dew and Jameo in painful shoes and involved a couple of the girls (not mahself) peeing illegally lololol (PEE ME A RIVER)
Then the band got back from unloading their gear and we had a slumber party. HIGH FIVE.
Great way to start new years eve.
As a sidenote, TIm No 37 says, if you’re a gay metal fan in NYC, come out of the closet and you’ll get this for NYE:
Nightly walk mileage total: 4.7 miles
Saturday: The NYE Triathlon (not an actual triathlon)
Woke up around 9 am, laid out on the deck with Joshua and Jen, soaking up some extremely unseasonal clear skies and hot sunshine! Ordered brunch a la couch and pigged out with everyone, laughing about the hilarity that ensued the night before, such as Peter rolling down 10th street, Joshua peeing on a curb for almost 6 minutes, the two girls wearing so much makeup and feathers and SoCo on their outfits that they were just… ANYWAY…
Then Jen and I took a short graffiti walk through Bushwick:
Then we took the N back over the Manhattan Bridge to get ready for Times Square and caught an amazing sunset:
Next we take the train to 7th Ave/53rd Street just north of Times Square and decide to brave the crowds by sneaking in from the north mostly down 7th, and then via 6th before cutting into the bowtie. Let me illustrate:
Now, the ball was blocked from our view because of the ESPN building, but we were able to see it reflected in the other buildings- so Im cool with that. It took us about an hour to get from my apartment in Brooklyn, to the front of the police barricades by 11:10 or so. I took out my camera when it was less than insane, because I had no intention of taking it out later. I originally planned to take it out in the insanity- but not til next year when I can be more prepared and its not a last minute I WONDER I COULD DO THIS O_O thing.
pictures of the walk up until we got to 42nd and 6th:
^ Empire State Building from Bryant Park
^ crowds coming from the East, Bryant Park side
^ getting close!
^from now on everything looks like this
because it was like this: (from Jersey North Shore News)
except for the ball dropping
and our proud asses at the very front of the police barricades (horns up)
Then there was screaming and fireworks and confetti and we made a mad dash for the D train in Bryant Park to escape the stampedes and get back to Brooklyn for part deux de la nuit.
Fast forward 45 minutes and a 10 degree temperature drop and Jen and I are changing from jeans/tshirts/sneakers to LBDs/twinkly jewelry and pumps in the middle of 58th and 4th Ave to get to the Haven’s Black & White Ball for champagne and dancing to meet my French boy.
HIGH FIVE for NYE with Jen.
Day’s Walk Mileage Total: 8.2 mi
Sunday: Woke up at 3pm after enjoying our sleep-in and diner dinner and kisses and quickies a bit too much before French boy and I brave Best Buy and Target on NY’s Day to get hime a laptop just in time for closing. Then I run to Jen’s for homemade gumbo a la her MOST AWESOME ROOMMATE (Iron Chef Soux chef Kate- soon to be on Bravo)
OM-NOMMITY-NOM. Then I ran all the way back to the french boy’s house to sleep there.
Day’s Walk Mileage Total: 3 miles
8:37 am Got dumped MID-gardening session because apparently the mere sight of me naked after 10 dates is just too horrible to stand any longer because it makes his gardening tools soft. FINE.
called Peter and and headed straight to the band’s apartment for beers and movies and louging away until I had to get up to go to work, which was much nicer than playing translator for le douche.
sad; new body issues; whaddyagonnado?
It couldnt dampen the rest of a phenomenal NYE weekend and THAT is why it is by farrrrrrrrrrrr my favorite holiday.
Day’s Walk Mileage Total: 5.5
Weekend Total Mileage: about 20-22 miles
Weekend Total Cost: $11.12 sht you not.
Alter-Ego Saviors and the BIGGEST BANG Theory
Friday, December 30, 2011
NYE is my fave holiday :) Didja know that? Probably- i mean it makes sense, what’s shinier than New Year’s Eve?
I can think f one thing.
Times Square on NYE. Much shinier.
First though, I would like to say something.
Everytime I say Im overwhelmed, or sad, or wanting to hide- dozens and dozens of you come out of the woodwork to hater bash. Please see that I stopped complaining about haters a long time ago. When I say, ‘my role on SP’ -which is the role of a popular blog award winning motivator- this has nothing to do with haters. When I say, I wish I could hide or hibernate- this is not about haters bothering me- this is my real life shyness injecting itself into my online persona- because BRI is who I am. Yoovie is just who I sign in with the face that I use to interact with the world out there.
Yoovie comes up with amazing ideas and goes balls to the wall all the time and is just a giant gas giant of illegal fireworks going off. I need her to keep Bri from slipping into nothingness.
Bri stands against the sidelines at concerts and parties. She smiles and nods and clinks glasses. She stands in the front row when the bands go on stage and sings her heart out because she knows every word and the guys on stage are her little bothers. Because the crowd behind her filled with people that dont know her, scares the confetti out of her.
Yoovie is the part of my brain that makes Bri live.
Yoovie gets me to walk into the bedroom wearing nothing but a smile and a Viking Hat on the 2nd date.
Yoovie gets me to wear skimpy swatches of sequins and 4 inch heels.
Yoovie gets me to the best spot in the photographer’s pit.
Yoovie gets me to the Verrazano Bridge when Bri is convinced she’s ok with achieving nothing that day.
If it were up to Bri, I’d wear flannel pjs and have missionary gardening sans orgasms for the rest of my life. I’d wear sweatshirts and mom jeans to concerts and I’d slink along the back side of the photo pit and try not to bother anyone. I would never have started running.
Bri is shy as sht. She is socially awkward and most people dont get her sense of humor and that causes serious problems when the translation and tone dont carry through text. She’s always worried about stepping on toes and making sure everyone likes her. She is quick to give in and give up when people criticise her goals. Bri NEEDS yoovie.
So when you tell me that I know Im awesome, that I need to be slapped, that I would suffer without the attention I have probably gotten used to… you are assuming that the girl that walks around her house at 1 am, overthinking every aspect of her life and fighting against disappearing yet again and starting over elsewhere… is someone that you are such close friends with.. for so many years… that you can shout these things at her from the internet and she will take them as you mean for her to take them… since she also knows YOU so well.
Can you see my personal dilemma here, when Im writing myself into a frenzy all the time and people assume they know me because I write from the heart… but the catch is… Its not equal. You do not show me the same things I show you- I barely leave my page, I dont talk more than a few people, on occasion, on this entire website. Im terrified of most of you.
So slap me for compliment fishing, refusing to accept my popularity, complaining about my diamond shoes, pretending to dislike the attention or not being able to shrug off the invisible haters… and when you call me out on these things.. remember you are offering me this advise (in my head) as a stranger on the street that overheard a phone call I was on and shoved their two cents in.
Now sometimes I need 2 or 10 cents.
Sometimes your advice changes my life.
Sometimes it makes me cry.
Sometimes it makes me mad.
Sometimes it makes me ashamed.
But when you don’t read what I have actually written, and you assume its me ‘bitchin about haters again’ and throw the standard THEY JUS’ JEALOUS at me.. you can understand my O_o?? Assuming im ALWAYS talking about haters is crazy. I was told months ago to shut up and I DID. Its not ME that bitches about haters anymore. I put a sign on my page and shut up.
I changed my entire LEAVE ME ALONE about me section to something more informative and less isolationist.
I have somewhere to blog when I need to say more than I do in my blog here, but I dont like to because it feels like Im hiding those truths from myself.
I also stopped complaining about getting popular blog awards on my private embarassing humiliating tear filled blogs and instead just put a disclaimer on the ones I dont want to be voted for, made a cartoon and slapped it on my page.
So slap me. And then slap yourself. Cause pushing your views and needs on my alter-ego means only the real me can feel them. Not yoovie. Bri.
Im about to undertake one of the greatest challenges Ive ever attempted in NYC.
Getting into Times Square for the ball drop.
I promised my little kid self when I was 16 that I would find a way to do it for her. Now Im going to be 4 miles from there and I see no reason why I should not take advantage of a dry as a bone, high 40s evening with no precipitation and a blueprinted plan and some Adderal and my BFF right there.
This will be EPIC. If I can go out with the biggest bang ever, what a confidence boost to take my wallflower self into the next year from the mouth of the madness uner a METRIC TON of confetti listening to Pitbull, Gaga and Beiber.. I can do this.
Everyone says I cant handle it.
BUT I CAN.
And I will then be rewarded with a brand new deck of 365 and a kiss.
What will yo do with your brand new deck?
Happy New Year! Let’s evolve in 12!!!!!!!!