Alter-Ego Saviors and the BIGGEST BANG Theory
Friday, December 30, 2011
Oh its the MOST wonderful time… of the year.
NYE is my fave holiday :) Didja know that? Probably- i mean it makes sense, what’s shinier than New Year’s Eve?
I can think f one thing.
Times Square on NYE. Much shinier.
First though, I would like to say something.
Everytime I say Im overwhelmed, or sad, or wanting to hide- dozens and dozens of you come out of the woodwork to hater bash. Please see that I stopped complaining about haters a long time ago. When I say, ‘my role on SP’ -which is the role of a popular blog award winning motivator- this has nothing to do with haters. When I say, I wish I could hide or hibernate- this is not about haters bothering me- this is my real life shyness injecting itself into my online persona- because BRI is who I am. Yoovie is just who I sign in with the face that I use to interact with the world out there.
Yoovie comes up with amazing ideas and goes balls to the wall all the time and is just a giant gas giant of illegal fireworks going off. I need her to keep Bri from slipping into nothingness.
Bri stands against the sidelines at concerts and parties. She smiles and nods and clinks glasses. She stands in the front row when the bands go on stage and sings her heart out because she knows every word and the guys on stage are her little bothers. Because the crowd behind her filled with people that dont know her, scares the confetti out of her.
Yoovie is the part of my brain that makes Bri live.
Yoovie gets me to walk into the bedroom wearing nothing but a smile and a Viking Hat on the 2nd date.
Yoovie gets me to wear skimpy swatches of sequins and 4 inch heels.
Yoovie gets me to the best spot in the photographer’s pit.
Yoovie gets me to the Verrazano Bridge when Bri is convinced she’s ok with achieving nothing that day.
If it were up to Bri, I’d wear flannel pjs and have missionary gardening sans orgasms for the rest of my life. I’d wear sweatshirts and mom jeans to concerts and I’d slink along the back side of the photo pit and try not to bother anyone. I would never have started running.
Bri is shy as sht. She is socially awkward and most people dont get her sense of humor and that causes serious problems when the translation and tone dont carry through text. She’s always worried about stepping on toes and making sure everyone likes her. She is quick to give in and give up when people criticise her goals. Bri NEEDS yoovie.
So when you tell me that I know Im awesome, that I need to be slapped, that I would suffer without the attention I have probably gotten used to… you are assuming that the girl that walks around her house at 1 am, overthinking every aspect of her life and fighting against disappearing yet again and starting over elsewhere… is someone that you are such close friends with.. for so many years… that you can shout these things at her from the internet and she will take them as you mean for her to take them… since she also knows YOU so well.
Can you see my personal dilemma here, when Im writing myself into a frenzy all the time and people assume they know me because I write from the heart… but the catch is… Its not equal. You do not show me the same things I show you- I barely leave my page, I dont talk more than a few people, on occasion, on this entire website. Im terrified of most of you.
So slap me for compliment fishing, refusing to accept my popularity, complaining about my diamond shoes, pretending to dislike the attention or not being able to shrug off the invisible haters… and when you call me out on these things.. remember you are offering me this advise (in my head) as a stranger on the street that overheard a phone call I was on and shoved their two cents in.
Now sometimes I need 2 or 10 cents.
Sometimes your advice changes my life.
Sometimes it makes me cry.
Sometimes it makes me mad.
Sometimes it makes me ashamed.
But when you don’t read what I have actually written, and you assume its me ‘bitchin about haters again’ and throw the standard THEY JUS’ JEALOUS at me.. you can understand my O_o?? Assuming im ALWAYS talking about haters is crazy. I was told months ago to shut up and I DID. Its not ME that bitches about haters anymore. I put a sign on my page and shut up.
I changed my entire LEAVE ME ALONE about me section to something more informative and less isolationist.
I have somewhere to blog when I need to say more than I do in my blog here, but I dont like to because it feels like Im hiding those truths from myself.
I also stopped complaining about getting popular blog awards on my private embarassing humiliating tear filled blogs and instead just put a disclaimer on the ones I dont want to be voted for, made a cartoon and slapped it on my page.
So slap me. And then slap yourself. Cause pushing your views and needs on my alter-ego means only the real me can feel them. Not yoovie. Bri.
NEXT
newsbizarre.com/2009/12/
live-video-new-years-eve-2
010-times.html
Im about to undertake one of the greatest challenges Ive ever attempted in NYC.
Getting into Times Square for the ball drop.
I promised my little kid self when I was 16 that I would find a way to do it for her. Now Im going to be 4 miles from there and I see no reason why I should not take advantage of a dry as a bone, high 40s evening with no precipitation and a blueprinted plan and some Adderal and my BFF right there.
jgriffinstewart.com/blog
/2009_01_01_archive.html
This will be EPIC. If I can go out with the biggest bang ever, what a confidence boost to take my wallflower self into the next year from the mouth of the madness uner a METRIC TON of confetti listening to Pitbull, Gaga and Beiber.. I can do this.
Everyone says I cant handle it.
BUT I CAN.
And I will then be rewarded with a brand new deck of 365 and a kiss.
What will yo do with your brand new deck?
www.wellandgoodnyc.com/2
010/12/22/how-to-spend-new
-years-eve-and-day-the-nam
aste-way/
Happy New Year! Let’s evolve in 12!!!!!!!!
NYE is my fave holiday :) Didja know that? Probably- i mean it makes sense, what’s shinier than New Year’s Eve?
I can think f one thing.
Times Square on NYE. Much shinier.
First though, I would like to say something.
Everytime I say Im overwhelmed, or sad, or wanting to hide- dozens and dozens of you come out of the woodwork to hater bash. Please see that I stopped complaining about haters a long time ago. When I say, ‘my role on SP’ -which is the role of a popular blog award winning motivator- this has nothing to do with haters. When I say, I wish I could hide or hibernate- this is not about haters bothering me- this is my real life shyness injecting itself into my online persona- because BRI is who I am. Yoovie is just who I sign in with the face that I use to interact with the world out there.
Yoovie comes up with amazing ideas and goes balls to the wall all the time and is just a giant gas giant of illegal fireworks going off. I need her to keep Bri from slipping into nothingness.
Bri stands against the sidelines at concerts and parties. She smiles and nods and clinks glasses. She stands in the front row when the bands go on stage and sings her heart out because she knows every word and the guys on stage are her little bothers. Because the crowd behind her filled with people that dont know her, scares the confetti out of her.
Yoovie is the part of my brain that makes Bri live.
Yoovie gets me to walk into the bedroom wearing nothing but a smile and a Viking Hat on the 2nd date.
Yoovie gets me to wear skimpy swatches of sequins and 4 inch heels.
Yoovie gets me to the best spot in the photographer’s pit.
Yoovie gets me to the Verrazano Bridge when Bri is convinced she’s ok with achieving nothing that day.
If it were up to Bri, I’d wear flannel pjs and have missionary gardening sans orgasms for the rest of my life. I’d wear sweatshirts and mom jeans to concerts and I’d slink along the back side of the photo pit and try not to bother anyone. I would never have started running.
Bri is shy as sht. She is socially awkward and most people dont get her sense of humor and that causes serious problems when the translation and tone dont carry through text. She’s always worried about stepping on toes and making sure everyone likes her. She is quick to give in and give up when people criticise her goals. Bri NEEDS yoovie.
So when you tell me that I know Im awesome, that I need to be slapped, that I would suffer without the attention I have probably gotten used to… you are assuming that the girl that walks around her house at 1 am, overthinking every aspect of her life and fighting against disappearing yet again and starting over elsewhere… is someone that you are such close friends with.. for so many years… that you can shout these things at her from the internet and she will take them as you mean for her to take them… since she also knows YOU so well.
Can you see my personal dilemma here, when Im writing myself into a frenzy all the time and people assume they know me because I write from the heart… but the catch is… Its not equal. You do not show me the same things I show you- I barely leave my page, I dont talk more than a few people, on occasion, on this entire website. Im terrified of most of you.
So slap me for compliment fishing, refusing to accept my popularity, complaining about my diamond shoes, pretending to dislike the attention or not being able to shrug off the invisible haters… and when you call me out on these things.. remember you are offering me this advise (in my head) as a stranger on the street that overheard a phone call I was on and shoved their two cents in.
Now sometimes I need 2 or 10 cents.
Sometimes your advice changes my life.
Sometimes it makes me cry.
Sometimes it makes me mad.
Sometimes it makes me ashamed.
But when you don’t read what I have actually written, and you assume its me ‘bitchin about haters again’ and throw the standard THEY JUS’ JEALOUS at me.. you can understand my O_o?? Assuming im ALWAYS talking about haters is crazy. I was told months ago to shut up and I DID. Its not ME that bitches about haters anymore. I put a sign on my page and shut up.
I changed my entire LEAVE ME ALONE about me section to something more informative and less isolationist.
I have somewhere to blog when I need to say more than I do in my blog here, but I dont like to because it feels like Im hiding those truths from myself.
I also stopped complaining about getting popular blog awards on my private embarassing humiliating tear filled blogs and instead just put a disclaimer on the ones I dont want to be voted for, made a cartoon and slapped it on my page.
So slap me. And then slap yourself. Cause pushing your views and needs on my alter-ego means only the real me can feel them. Not yoovie. Bri.
NEXT
newsbizarre.com/2009/12/
live-video-new-years-eve-2
010-times.html
Im about to undertake one of the greatest challenges Ive ever attempted in NYC.
Getting into Times Square for the ball drop.
I promised my little kid self when I was 16 that I would find a way to do it for her. Now Im going to be 4 miles from there and I see no reason why I should not take advantage of a dry as a bone, high 40s evening with no precipitation and a blueprinted plan and some Adderal and my BFF right there.
jgriffinstewart.com/blog
/2009_01_01_archive.html
This will be EPIC. If I can go out with the biggest bang ever, what a confidence boost to take my wallflower self into the next year from the mouth of the madness uner a METRIC TON of confetti listening to Pitbull, Gaga and Beiber.. I can do this.
Everyone says I cant handle it.
BUT I CAN.
And I will then be rewarded with a brand new deck of 365 and a kiss.
What will yo do with your brand new deck?
www.wellandgoodnyc.com/2
010/12/22/how-to-spend-new
-years-eve-and-day-the-nam
aste-way/
Happy New Year! Let’s evolve in 12!!!!!!!!
Im doing this for VANITY reasons, but who cares if I end up healthy on the inside along the way.
