Anonymous message about self-esteem vs vanity. Thank you.
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving yourself… At all. You truthfully should never have stopped showing yourself love. You are human and no one else is going to do it for you, so its okay. And I don’t mean no one else will love you, but I mean loving YOURSELF gives people a level of security, confidence, and self worth that nothing else is going to magically provide for you. Do not concern yourself with what other people will think about you being vain or conceited… no one says you have to rub it in the face of others. If you are a good person then you just are. Being truly conceited would only seem vain if your constantly telling people you are better than them or putting them down.
If you are not doing wrong to others, then loving yourself cannot be wrong. Sometimes, we need to give ourselves pep-talks every now and then. As for no dating, its okay, you do not need to be easy, but dont close yourself off to it either, companionship is extremely healthy for human mentality and sanity and frankly, once you start loving yourself more again, men will sense THAT… its you nurturing yourself, and being loving, and they will want that too.
And I am sure you have alot more to offer then your looks. Any TRUE interests and passions you have, if you do not do it as a daily job, than make sure you keep at it nonetheless as a hobby as another way of loving yourself, give yourself what you want (this does not always work with simply enjoying shopping unless you are rich). Doing things you like will bring about a natural sense of happiness and contentment that will not only attract the right people, but will also give you a healthy mindset within a relationship when ever you get there again.
So do not hold back, love yourself, pamper yourself, learn new things, enjoy life, but be humble in doing so. Even without christian beliefs, being a good person and being a positive individual in general keeps you from being a cancer to this society and planet… Just be Positive, smile more, laugh more and seriously, it OKAY to love yourself. It is not vain or conceited, those are traits not ways of life so stop letting it effect you and dont let others effect you in a negative way.” - KAY